The 5 computer has changed Li Ming’s life a_lot6 as it can processes7 information quickly and efficiently. For example,by surfing the Internet,he can be informed8 of what is happening in the world any time. Shopping online is easy and time_saving9 saves time. Instead of going to shops, he just sits in front of the screen and places an order for what he wants to buy. A wide choice of goods10 helps him to make a better purchase. Also he often does research on the Internet for the information he needs for his paper school work. During the his leisure time,computers11 games and movies help Li Ming relax and bring him fun12 enjoyment.
In_a_word13,the computer helps Li Ming a lot in many ways.
旁 批
7.can等情态动词之后必须接动词原形。
8.这里被动态用得很好!
9.原句表达不恰当,参见改写后的句子。
10.单词goods指商品,一般为复数,所以应加s。
11.本句中computer是名词作定语,不要用复数形式。
12.正确的说法是have fun或sb.be brought enjoyment。
13.这个说法比较老套,尽量不要用,可以用In conclusion。 这是一篇尚好的作文。作者写出了题目要求的内容,正确运用了多种句型,列举了一些很好的使用计算机的实例,
并且词汇量很大,贴近主题。要进一步提高本篇作文的水平,作者需要更好地理解所选词汇的准确内涵。记住:英语的词汇是所有语言中最多的,有许多词的含义非常特别,只能用于特定的上下文之中。例如,fun和enjoyment的含义非常相近,但用法却截然不同。高分作文秘诀之十一:句子结构要多样化。例如:
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