③文中还有些地方出现了时态不一致、主谓不一致的问题。如第一段中"Many of us cannot take such a heavy burden and became depressed, which lead to an inefficient study."这句话中,同时并列使用了"cannot"和"became", "became"应改为"become",而"lead"应改为"leads"。

　　成稿:

　　With the increasing competition, young students today are under more and more pressure from study and examinations. Many of us have trouble dealing with such heavy burdens and we end up becoming quite depressed, which can lead to a low efficiency in studying. Then, what should we do to stay happy and to study more efficiently?     In my opinion it is necessary for us to find a good way to relax, which can help us maintain an optimistic attitude towards our lives and our studies. Here are some suggestions of how to do this. First, I think we should do more sports. When I feel depressed, I often go running, which can keep me feeling energetic and help put me in a good mood. Secondly, I think we can turn to our friends, who may help us out of our trouble. Thirdly, we should make a good schedule for studying and relaxing. This will help us know exactly when to study and when to relax.     In conclusion, I think if we try to find some good ways to keep a positive outlook on life, we can lead a busy and happy school life.

　　Powerful sentences:

　　1. Many of us have trouble dealing with such heavy burdens and we end up becoming quite depressed.

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