Being a bit of tomboy myself, and not too hot on the household skills, I used to argue till I was blue in the face that the differences between men and women were all about upbringing and expectations. Nobody could have approached motherhood with a courageous determination that all children would be treated the same, not channeled along some predetermined path. Boys would be offered soft toys, while girls would play cars and trains. I would bring up the New Men and female engineers of the future.
Ten years ago, as I gazed at my first-born, I fantasized about the gentle soul he would be. No guns or violence for this little peachblossom. The fantasy continued until he was about two, when he proudly presented me with his first model--a gun. Later on, at playgroup, he and his pals daily attacked each other. And what about my daughter? She plays all the boys’ game because she has to. But her heart is not really in it. She would much rather be drawing or writing or cleaning the bathroom while waves of boys roar around her.
I finally faced the fact that boys and girls are simply born different on the day, a few years ago, when I was hanging out the washing and gave her and the next brother up a couple of clothes pegs(晒衣夹)to play with. He shot me with his. She supported it in her arms and sang it a lullaby(催眠曲).
But I won’t give up. I’ll continue to try and treat them equally and expect the same of them. And by the time they’re all in their teens, I imagine they’ll all be equally impossible to get to do anything. But right now nature is wearing down nurture (训练). Equality is hard work.
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