作文完整地回答了题目要求。但是没有达到三星级的水平,原因在于作者没有抓住机会写出并列句和复合句而使用了太多简单句。记住:如果这样写,你就无法向考官展示你在高中阶段的学习水平。高分作文秘诀之十五:使用短语作状语时,要避免逻辑关系混乱。例如:
Instead of (不要说:)At the age of ten,my grandfather died of cancer.
Use (要说:)When I was ten,my grandfather died of cancer.
Instead of (不要说:)As a middle school student,his parents are strict with him.
Use (要说:)Since he is a middle school student,his parents are strict with him.
Instead of (不要说:)To swim properly,a course of instruction is necessary.
Use (要说:)To swim properly,one needs a course of instruction.
Instead of (不要说:)Walking through the park,an old tower came into sight.
Use (要说:)When we walked through the park,an old tower came into sight.
Instead of (不要说:)Falling off the bicycle,my leg got badly hurt.
Use (要说:)Falling off the bicycle,I had my leg badly hurt.
Instead of (不要说:)Going through a red light,the traffic police on duty stopped him.
Use (要说:)Going through a red light,he was stopped by the traffic police on duty.假设你是李华,是北京科技大学的在校生,想申请国外某大学微电子系的奖学金。请写一封申请信,说明你的情况及申请的理由。
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