That’s pretty rough -- but I can take it, because my stepfather always told me, it's a boy-eat-dog world out there.
Now, if I do win a second term as President, let me just say something to all the -- -- let me just say something to all my conspiracy-oriented friends on the right who think I'm planning to unleash some secret agenda: You're absolutely right. So allow me to close with a quick preview of the secret agenda you can expect in a second Obama administration.
In my first term, I sang Al Green; in my second term, I'm going with Young Jeezy.
MRS. OBAMA: Yeah.
THE PRESIDENT: Michelle said, yeah. I sing that to her sometimes.
In my first term, we ended the war in Iraq; in my second term, I will win the war on Christmas. In my first term, we repealed the policy known as "don't ask, don't tell" ---- wait, though; in my second term, we will replace it with a policy known as, it's raining men. In my first term, we passed health care reform; in my second term, I guess I'll pass it again.
I do want to end tonight on a slightly more serious note -- whoever takes the oath of office next January will face some great challenges, but he will also inherit traditions that make us greater than the challenges we face. And one of those traditions is represented here tonight: a free press that isn't afraid to ask questions, to examine and to criticize. And in service of that mission, all of you make sacrifices.
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