Despite many obstacles, much has changed during my time in office. Four years ago, I was locked in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton. Four years later, she won’t stop drunk-texting me from Cartagena.
Four years ago, I was a Washington outsider. Four years later, I’m at this dinner. Four years ago, I looked like this. Today, I look like this. And four years from now, I will look like this. That’s not even funny.
Anyway, it’s great to be here this evening in the vast, magnificent Hilton ballroom-- or what Mitt Romney would call a little fixer-upper. I mean, look at this party. We’ve got men in tuxes, women in gowns, fine wine, first-class entertainment. I was just relieved to learn this was not a GSA conference. Unbelievable. Not even the mind reader knew what they were thinking.
Of course, the White House Correspondents’ Dinner is known as the prom of Washington D.C. -- a term coined by political reporters who clearly never had the chance to go to an actual prom.
Our chaperone for the evening is Jimmy Kimmel -- -- who is perfect for the job since most of tonight’s audience is in his key demographic -- people who fall asleep during Nightline. Jimmy got his start years ago on The Man Show. In Washington, that’s what we call a congressional hearing on contraception.
And plenty of journalists are here tonight. I'd be remiss if I didn’t congratulate the Huffington Post on their Pulitzer Prize. You deserve it, Arianna. There's no one else out there linking to the kinds of hard-hitting journalism that HuffPo is linking to every single day. Give them a round of applause. And you don’t pay them -- it's a great business model.
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