00:00:04,420　　这三明治真是个彻底的失败品　　This sandwich is an unmitigated disaster.　　2　　00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,510　　我点的是火鸡和烤牛肉　　I asked for turkey and roast beef　　3　　00:00:06,730 --> 00:00:08,450　　全麦上放生菜和芝士　　With lettuce and swiss on whole wheat.　　4　　00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:09,250　　那他们给你的什么?　　What did they give you?　　5　　00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:10,480　　火鸡和烤牛肉　　Turkey and roast beef　　6　　00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:13,280　　全麦上放的芝士和生菜　　With swiss and lettuce on whole wheat.　　7　　00:00:17,830 --> 00:00:21,280　　东西确实一样　　但是顺序不对啊　　It's the right ingredients, but in the wrong order.　　8　　00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,610　　一个合格的三明治　　In a proper sandwich,　　9　　00:00:23,830 --> 00:00:25,510　　它的芝士要紧贴着面包　　The cheese is adjacent to the bread　　10　　00:00:25,730 --> 00:00:28,580　　这样会提供给生菜一个有水分的屏障　　To create a moisture barrier against the lettuce.　　11　　00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,380　　他们可能带着这玩意过了一趟洗车房　　They might as well have dragged this thing through a car wash.　　12　　00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,350　　不太可能吧　　I don't believe it.　　13　　00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,250　　我知道　　这是很基本的烹饪知识　　I know. it's basic culinary science.　　14　　00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:39,380　　有人拍卖了一个原版电影里用过的时间机器道具　　Some guy is auctioning off a miniature time machine prop　　15　　00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,980　　但竟然没人竞拍　　From the original film, and no one is bidding on it.　　16　　00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,910　　电影"时间机器"里的时间机器?　　A time machine from the movie the time machine?　　17　　00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:48,780　　不　　是"苏菲的选择"里的时间机器　　No. a time machine from sophie's choice.　　18　　00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,310　　厉害　　苏菲在电影里是用过一个时间机器　　Boy, sophie could have used a time machine in that movie.　　19　　00:00:51,530 --> 00:00:53,610　　你见过吗?　　挺刚猛啊　　Did you see it? it's rough.　　20　　00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:55,710　　酷毙了　　Oh, that's cool.　　21　　00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,750　　只要800美金?　　It's only $800?　　22　　00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,210　　没错　　那是我出的价钱　　Yeah. and that's my bid.　　23　　00:00:59,430 --> 00:01:00,550　　你出价800美元?　　You bid $800?　　24　　00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,210　　我没多想一时定下的嘛　　It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.　　25　　00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:03,710　　我想它怎么都会飙到上千的　　I figured it would go for thousands,　　26　　00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:05,610　　我只是想参与一下而已　　And I just wanted to be a part of it.　　27　　00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:07,750　　拍卖还剩30秒就结束了　　There's only 30 seconds left in the auction.　　28　　00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:08,910　　你有800美金吗?　　Do you have $800?　　29　　00:01:09,130 --> 00:01:11,280　　撼动不了这台小型时间机器　　Not to blow on a miniature time machine.　　30　　00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:12,550　　别担心　　一般大家都是　　Well, don't worry. the way these things work　　31　　00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,010　　等到最后一秒钟　　Is people wait until the last second to bid,　　32　　00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:15,850　　然后突然杀进来把它拍走　　这就叫淘宝　　And then they swoop in and get it. it's called sniping.　　33　　00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:17,080　　15秒　　15 seconds.　　34　　00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,650　　快点啊　　淘宝人　　Come on, snipers.　　35　　00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:22,350　　10　　9　　8...　　Ten, nine, eight...　　36　　00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:23,980　　你的淘宝人呢?　　Where are your snipers?　　37　　00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,910　　5　　淘啊　　Five... snipe.　　38　　00:01:26,130 --> 00:01:26,910　　4　　淘啊　　Four... snipe.　　39　　00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:27,980　　3　　淘啊　　Three... snipe!　　40　　00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,050　　2　　淘啊　　Two... snipe!　　41　　00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:30,510　　1　　One...　　42　　00:01:30,730 --> 00:01:32,480　　祝贺你　　Congratulations!　　43　　00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:35,150　　你光荣地成为这台小型时间机器的主人了　　You are the proud owner of a miniature time machine!　　44　　00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,180　　你个幸运的家伙　　You lucky duck.　　45　　00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,350　　我想不通怎么没人竞拍了　　I wonder why no one else bid.　　46　　00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,780　　这是部经典高科技电影里很有纪念意义的东西啊　　This is a classic piece of sci-fi movie memorabilia.　　47　　00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,680　　我知道　　可我仍然没钱买它　　Yeah, I know! I still can't afford it.　　48　　00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:45,980　　要不我们一起凑钱吧?　　Why don't we share it?　　49　　00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:47,410　　我们每人出200　　We'll each put in 200 bucks, and we'll　　50　　00:01:47,630 --> 00:01:49,180　　然后我们轮流把它放家里　　Take turns having it in our house.　　51　　00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,280　　一个时间共享的时间机器　　A time-share time machine.　　52　　00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,680　　我同意　　谢尔顿?　　I'm in. sheldon?　　53　　00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,780　　还用你问吗?　　Need you ask?　　54　　00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,250　　可我还是不明白怎么就没人出价　　I still don't understand why no one else bid.　　55　　00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,350　　我明白为什么没人出价了　　I understand why no one else bid.　　56　　00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,950　　那单子上确实有写是小型的吗?　　Did the listing actually say "miniature"?　　57　　00:02:41,630 --> 00:02:43,910　　我也在想　　I just assumed.　　58　　00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:48,950　　谁会800块就卖一个完整尺寸的时间机器啊?　　Who sells a full-size time machine for $800?　　59　　00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:53,510　　某人肯定处于两块韦恩集合图的交集　　In a venn diagram, that would be an individual located　　60　　00:02:53,730 --> 00:02:54,880　　一张集合图写着"不再需要时间机器"　　Within the intersection of the sets "no longer want my time machine"　　61　　00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:58,050　　另一张写着"急需800块"　　And "need $800."　　62　　00:02:58,260 --> 00:03:00,480　　这个价钱的确非常低了　　It's actually a tremendous bargain.　　63　　00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:01,550　　就算加上运费　　Even with shipping, it works out　　64　　00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,480　　算下来平均每磅不到4美金呢　　To less than four dollars a pound.　　65　　00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:08,110　　调味酱稣虾是12块5　　Cocktail shrimp are $12.50.　　66　　00:03:08,330 --> 00:03:10,780　　我们怎么把这玩意弄上楼?　　How are we going to get it upstairs?　　67　　00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:13,710　　如果把这个盘子取下来　　If we take the dish off,　　68　　00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:15,210　　应该能放进电梯里　　It might fit in the elevator.　　69　　00:03:15,430 --> 00:03:18,280　　对　　可是电梯都坏了2年了　　Yes, but the elevator has been broken for two years.　　70　　00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:19,610　　我曾经想问过你　　I've been meaning to ask you.　　71　　00:03:19,830 --> 00:03:21,780　　你说我们是不是该打个电话呢　　Do you think we should make a call about that?　　72　　00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:24,750　　没必要　　Not necessary.　　73　　00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,480　　我是工程学硕士　　I have a master's in engineering.　　74　　00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:29,210　　我闭眼都能远程修复卫星　　I remotely repair satellites on a regular basis.　　75　　00:03:29,430 --> 00:03:32,750　　我还能检修航天飞机载弹头　　I troubleshoot space shuttle payloads.　　76　　00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,210　　当火星探测器开始向左行驶时　　When the mars rover started pulling to the left, I performed　　77　　00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:40,650　　我在6200万英里以外进行用户接口联合　　A front-end alignment from 62 million miles away.　　78　　00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:52,380　　不　　这宝贝已经坏了　　No. that baby's broken.　　79　　00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:55,970　　加油啊　　伙计们　　用力推!　　Come on, guys! push!　　80　　00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:57,370　　如果我再用力　　If I push any harder,　　81　　00:03:57,580 --> 00:04:00,500　　就快把结肠给"分娩"出来了　　I'm going to give birth to my colon.　　82　　00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,430　　我手指都快没知觉了　　快点!　　I can't feel my fingers. hurry up!　　83　　00:04:02,650 --> 00:04:03,500　　不管多快　　It's the same amount of work　　84　　00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:04,830　　工作量都是一样的　　No matter how fast you go.　　85　　00:04:05,050 --> 00:04:06,000　　基本的物理原理　　Basic physics.　　86　　00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:06,830　　-谢尔顿?　　-干嘛?　　Sheldon? yeah?　　87　　00:04:07,050 --> 00:04:08,830　　如果我的手指以后还能用　　If my fingers ever work again,　　88　　00:04:09,050 --> 00:04:11,330　　我想我的中指以后有活干了　　I've got a job for the middle one.　　89　　00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:12,830　　好　　各位　　Oh. hey, guys.　　90　　00:04:13,050 --> 00:04:14,130　　你好　　佩妮　　Oh. hi, penny.　　91　　00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,200　　休息一会吧　　Take a break, guys.　　92　　00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:20,900　　你们在干什么　　What are you doing?　　93　　00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,370　　我们在...搬点东西上来　　We're just, you know, moving something upstairs.　　94　　00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:24,370　　什么东西　　What is it?　　95　　00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:28,030　　就是个...时间机器　　Just... you know. time machine.　　96　　00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:30,630　　好的　　不错　　但我要赶去工作了　　所以...　　Yeah. okay. neat. but I really got to get to work.　　97　　00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:32,500　　-再给我们几分钟　　-我等不了几分钟　　Just give us a few minutes. I don't have a few minutes.　　98　　00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:33,700　　我已经晚了　　I'm running really late.　　99　　00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,600　　我有个简单的办法　　Then, I have a simple solution.　　100　　00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:37,870　　去到楼顶　　跳到另一栋楼顶上　　Go up to the roof. hop over to the next building.　　101　　00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,300　　中间离得不远　　There's a small gap--　　102　　00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,200　　如果你容易晕就别往下看　　Don't look down if you're subject to vertigo--　　103　　00:04:41,420 --> 00:04:42,370　　然后走他们的楼梯井　　And use their stairwell.　　104　　00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:43,970　　你逗我玩呢　　是吧?　　You're joking, right?　　105　　00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:46,030　　跟头晕有关的东西我从不开玩笑　　Oh, I never joke when it comes to vertigo.　　106　　00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:51,670　　该死　　好吧　　我去房顶看看　　Damn. okay, I'll just take the roof.　　107　　00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,570　　如果你能等我们把时间机器都弄好了　　Hey, if you wait for us to set up the time machine,　　108　　00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:55,630　　我可以把你送回到昨天上班时　　I can drop you off at work yesterday.　　109　　00:04:57,620 --> 00:04:59,900　　时光旅行　　开个玩笑...别介意　　Time travel joke. it's not... never mind.　　110　　00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:04,330　　从它的用途来看　　我觉得还是挺好笑的　　For what it's worth, I thought it was humorous.　　111　　00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,730　　还是接着搬吧　　Let's just do this.　　112　　00:05:09,950 --> 00:05:11,170　　兄弟们准备好推了没?　　You guys ready to push?　　113　　00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:12,430　　马上　　In a minute.　　114　　00:05:12,650 --> 00:05:15,470　　霍华德到外面去吐了　　Howard stepped outside to throw up.　　115　　00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,970　　我不懂你到底在担心什么　　I don't know what you were worried about.　　116　　00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:23,870　　我觉得他放在房间里肯定能行　　I think it really works in the room.　　117　　00:05:25,050 --> 00:05:26,100　　是啊　　Yeah.　　118　　00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,930　　这绝对是我拥有过的　　It is by far the coolest thing　　119　　00:05:28,150 --> 00:05:29,270　　最酷的东西　　I have ever owned.　　120　　00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,130　　那个载着演员罗德·泰勒　　The exact time machine that carried actor rod taylor　　121　　00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:33,530　　从维多利亚时代的英格兰　　From victorian england　　122　　00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,470　　到临近未来世界末日的时间机器　　Into the post-apocalyptic future,　　123　　00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,700　　那个社会分裂成两个派系　　Where society had splintered into the two factions　　124　　00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,300　　居住在地下的"莫洛克"　　The subterranean morlocks, who survived by feasting　　125　　00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,300　　他们靠吃住在地表的"埃洛依"维生　　On the flesh of the gentle surface-dwelling eloi.　　126　　00:05:44,650 --> 00:05:47,500　　真是性感的万人迷啊　　Talk about your chick magnets.　　127　　00:05:49,780 --> 00:05:50,730　　是　　没错　　Oh, yeah.　　128　　00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,870　　那个住我旁隔壁的家伙总是　　The guy who lives next to me is always like,　　129　　00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,470　　"我的阳台上有个水流按摩浴缸　　"i have a jacuzzi on my balcony.　　130　　00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,430　　我的阳台上有个水流按摩浴缸"　　I have a jacuzzi on my balcony."　　131　　00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:57,900　　可等着看我告诉他　　But wait until I tell him,　　132　　00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,330　　"我的阳台上有一台时间机器　　"i've got a time machine on my balcony.　　133　　00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,070　　把泳裤裹裹紧吧　　按摩浴缸"　　Stuff that in your speedo, jacuzzi bob."　　134　　00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,370　　先生们　　我知道我们说好是轮流拥有它　　Gentlemen, I know we said we'd take turns,　　135　　00:06:07,580 --> 00:06:08,500　　但我想你们会认同说　　But I think you'll agree　　136　　00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,900　　实际上就意味着它是留在这儿的　　That practicality dictates it remain here.　　137　　00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,470　　你不能就这么独吞了　　You can't just keep it here.　　138　　00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:13,730　　假如我碰到个小妞然后跟她说　　What if I meet a girl and say,　　139　　00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:15,300　　"你想上去看看我的时间机器吗　　"you want to come up and see my time machine?　　140　　00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,570　　它在我朋友家里"　　It's at my friends' house."　　141　　00:06:16,780 --> 00:06:18,500　　多丢人啊!　　How lame is that?　　142　　00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,230　　-他说的对　　-好吧　　He's got a point. all right,　　143　　00:06:20,450 --> 00:06:22,670　　我觉得我们该订些基本原则　　I think we're going to need some ground rules; in addition　　144　　00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,270　　除了"进时间机器禁止穿鞋"　　To the expected "no shoes in the time machine,"　　145　　00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,170　　以及"时间机器内禁止饮食"　　And "no eating in the time machine,"　　146　　00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:28,030　　我还建议"进时间机器　　I propose we add "pants must be worn　　147　　00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:30,630　　必须要穿裤子'　　At all times in the time machine."　　148　　00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:32,830　　赞成!　　Seconded.　　149　　00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:34,530　　我还准备在里面放条毛巾呢　　I was going to put down a towel.　　150　　00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,200　　我还是希望它能放在我的阳台上　　I still want it on my balcony.　　151　　00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:42,630　　我说我们就两月轮一次(或一月轮两次)吧　　I say we move it on a bi-monthly basis.　　152　　00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:43,800　　是啊　　听上去挺公平　　Yeah, that sounds fair.　　153　　00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,770　　等等　　两月轮一次很模棱两可啊　　Hold on, bi-monthly is an ambiguous term.　　154　　00:06:45,980 --> 00:06:47,770　　意思是每两月搬一次还是每个月搬两次?　　Do you mean move it every other month or twice a month?　　155　　00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:49,170　　-一月两次　　-那就不行　　Twice a month. then no.　　156　　00:06:49,380 --> 00:06:50,670　　那好　　两月一次　　Okay, every other month.　　157　　00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:51,870　　还是不行　　No.　　158　　00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,630　　谢尔顿　　你不能这么自私!　　Sheldon, you can't be selfish.　　159　　00:06:54,850 --> 00:06:57,130　　我们都付了钱　　所以它是大家的　　We all paid for it, so it belongs to all of us.　　160　　00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,130　　现在快让开　　别挡着我进我的时间机器　　Now get out of the way so I can sit in my time machine.　　161　　00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:14,000　　好的　　我设置时间到1876年3月10日　　Okay, I am setting the dials for march 10, 1876.　　162　　00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:15,800　　好主意　　亚历山大·格雷厄姆·贝尔　　Good choice, alexander graham bell　　163　　00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:17,900　　发明了电话并打给了沃森博士　　Invents the telephone and calls out for dr. watson.　　164　　00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,870　　等等　　我也想看看这个场面　　Wait a minute. I'd want to see that, too.　　165　　00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,400　　轮到你的时候　　随你想干嘛　　So when it's your turn, you can.　　166　　00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:23,300　　不过如果我们都去同一个时间点　　But if we all go back to the same point in time,　　167　　00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,270　　贝尔的实验室就太挤了　　Bell's lab is going to get very crowded.　　168　　00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:26,400　　他就会知道有大事发生了　　He'll know something's up.　　169　　00:07:27,850 --> 00:07:29,530　　而且时间机器不会进行空间上的位移　　Also since the time machine doesn't move in space,　　170　　00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:32,070　　所以你会"降临"在1876年的帕萨迪纳　　You'll end up in 1876 pasadena.　　171　　00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,000　　即使你降临在了波士顿　　你又能干嘛呢　　And even if you can make it to boston, what are you going to do?　　172　　00:07: 34,220 --> 00:07:35,170　　敲贝尔的门跟贝尔夫人说　　Knock on the door and say to mrs. bell,　　173　　00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:36,800　　"嘿　　贝尔夫人　　我是你老公的疯狂粉丝　　"hey, mrs. bell. big fan of your husband.　　174　　00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:39,570　　我能进来参观他发明电话吗?"　　Can I come in and watch him invent the telephone?"　　175　　00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:40,730　　贝尔夫人是个聋子　　Mrs. bell was deaf.　　176　　00:07:40,950 --> 00:07:42,070　　她甚至不会听到你敲门　　She's not even going to hear you knock.　　177　　00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:44,900　　我有个办法　　I have a solution.　　178　　00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,170　　首先去到未来弄一个隐身装置　　First, go into the future and obtain a cloaking device.　　179　　00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,200　　多远的未来?　　Ooh, how far into the future?　　180　　00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:50,370　　如果我没记错的话　　If I remember correctly,　　181　　00:07:50,580 --> 00:07:52,230　　柯克舰长会在星际纪年5027.3　　Captain kirk will steal a cloaking device　　182　　00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:55,230　　从罗姆兰偷走一个隐身装置(出自"星际迷航"系列)　　From the romulans on stardate 5027.3,　　183　　00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:58,700　　之后被'先锋联盟舰队'于2328年1月10日所截获　　Which would be january 10, 2328 by pre-federation reckoning.　　184　　00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:05,300　　好吧　　那我把时间设到2328年1月10日　　Okay, I am setting the dials for january 10, 2328.　　185　　00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,800　　向未来　　出发　　Here we go into the future.　　186　　00:08:29,420 --> 00:08:30,300　　真有意思　　That was fun.　　187　　00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:32,830　　轮到我了　　My turn!　　188　　00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:36,000　　首先　　Okay, first of all,　　189　　00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:38,500　　那段你声称仅三英尺宽的距离　　What you call a gap was nearly three feet wide.　　190　　00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,330　　-让我滑倒摔伤了我的膝盖　　-你还好吧?　　I slipped and skinned my knee. are you okay?　　191　　00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,370　　其次　　那扇通往旁边那幢楼的　　Second of all, the door to the stairwell　　192　　00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:44,630　　楼梯井门是锁着的　　Of the other building was locked,　　193　　00:08:44,850 --> 00:08:46,100　　所以我不得不从防火梯下楼　　So I had to go down the fire escape,　　194　　00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:47,230　　可那只是到三楼的　　Which ends on the third floor,　　195　　00:08:47,450 --> 00:08:48,870　　逼我只能从一个"可爱"的亚美尼亚家庭　　Forcing me to crawl through the window　　196　　00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,530　　的窗户爬了进去　　Of a lovely armenian family　　197　　00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:52,900　　他们还强留了我吃午饭　　Who insisted I stay for lunch.　　198　　00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,800　　听起来还不坏嘛　　That doesn't sound too bad.　　199　　00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:56,500　　那是整整八斤羔羊肉　　It was eight courses of lamb,　　200　　00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,230　　他们还试图撮合我和他们的儿子　　And they tried to fix me up with their son.　　201　　00:08:59,450 --> 00:09:01,970　　-对不起　　-还没完呢　　I'm sorry. not done.　　202　　00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:03,400　　等我终于好不容易　　By the time I finally　　203　　00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:04,800　　赶到那里上班　　他们已经把我的班给换了　　Got to work, they'd given my shift away.　　204　　00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:06,000　　是啊　　没错　　Yeah, that's right.　　205　　00:09:06,220 --> 00:09:08,300　　我损失了一整天的工资　　就因为这个　　I lost an entire day's pay thanks to this.　　206　　00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,170　　-这个...　　-时间机器　　This... time machine.　　207　　00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:15,600　　灯会一闪一闪　　托盘还会转　　你想不想试试?　　The lights flash and the dish spins. you want to try it?　　208　　00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:16,970　　才不!　　No!　　209　　00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:18,870　　我才不想试试!　　I don't want to try it!　　210　　00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,530　　天哪　　你们都已经是成年人了!　　My god, you are grown men!　　211　　00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:23,270　　你们怎么能浪费生命　　How can you waste your lives with these　　212　　00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,100　　整天弄这些蠢玩具和傻戏服　　Stupid toys and costumes　　213　　00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,100　　还有漫画书还有...那个?!　　And comic books and... and now that?!　　214　　00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,900　　-那个...　　-再次提醒　　时间机器　　That... again. time machine.　　215　　00:09:32,150 --> 00:09:33,900　　拜托　　那才不是什么时间机器　　Oh, please, it's not a time machine.　　216　　00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:35,100　　这顶多就是看上去像艾尔顿·约翰　　If anything, it looks like something　　217　　00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,530　　驶过大沼泽地的代步工具　　Elton john would drive through the everglades.　　218　　00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,330　　这个只能在时间上移动　　It only moves in time.　　219　　00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:48,730　　这个在沼泽地里会比无用更无用　　It would be worse than useless in a swamp.　　220　　00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:55,330　　可悲!　　你们这群人!　　Pathetic! all of you!　　221　　00:09:55,550 --> 00:09:57,400　　可悲到了极点!　　Completely pathetic!　　222　　00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:03,770　　该我了　　My turn.　　223　　00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,730　　莱纳德　　现在可是凌晨2点　　Leonard, it's 2:00 in the morning.　　224　　00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:24,270　　怎么了　　So?　　225　　00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:25,630　　该我了　　So it's my turn.　　226　　00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,770　　你为什么把时间设在前天?　　Why did you set it for the day before yesterday?　　227　　00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:33,770　　因为我想回到那天　　Because I want to go back and keep myself　　228　　00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:35,300　　阻止自己买时间机器　　From getting a time machine.　　229　　00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,100　　这做不到　　如果你想在过去　　You can't. if you were to prevent yourself　　230　　00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,330　　阻止自己买时间机器　　From buying it in the past,　　231　　00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,200　　你就不可能现在拥有一台时间机器　　You would not have it available in the present　　232　　00:10:40,420 --> 00:10:41,430　　然后利用它回到过去　　To travel back and stop yourself　　233　　00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:43,600　　阻止自己买它　　所以你仍然会拥有它　　From buying it. ergo, you would still have it.　　234　　00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:45,830　　这是典型的时间旅行低级错误　　This is a classic rookie time-travel mistake.　　235　　00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:52,570　　我可以回到过去让你闭嘴吗?　　Can I go back and prevent you from explaining that to me?　　236　　00:10:52,780 --> 00:10:54,100　　同样的低级错误　　Same paradox.　　237　　00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,730　　如果你想回到过去　　If you were to travel back in time　　238　　00:10:55,950 --> 00:10:57,130　　比如说　　把我打晕　　And, say, knock me unconscious,　　239　　00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:58,600　　那就不会有现在的对话　　You would not then have the conversation　　240　　00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,070　　来把你激怒　　让你想回到过去　　That irritated you, motivating you　　241　　00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,400　　并且把我打晕　　To go back and knock me unconscious.　　242　　00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:06,130　　如果我现在想把你打晕呢?　　What if I knocked you unconscious right now?　　243　　00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:08,800　　那也改变不了过去　　It won't change the past.　　244　　00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:13,600　　不过会让我现在好受很多　　But it'd make the present so much nicer.　　245　　00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:17,100　　你有什么事心烦吗　　Are you upset about something?　　246　　00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,130　　你从哪看出来的　　What was your first clue?　　247　　00:11:19,350 --> 00:11:21,770　　有很多地方　　Well, it was a number of things.　　248　　00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:23,100　　首先　　你睡得很晚　　First, the late hour.　　249　　00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:24,430　　其次　　你的言行似乎没有活力　　Then your demeanor seems very low-energy,　　250　　00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:25,230　　再加上你很易怒　　Plus your irritability.　　251　　00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:26,230　　是的　　我很心烦!　　Yes, I'm upset!　　252　　00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:30,230　　我一般可不大了解这些的　　I don't usually pick up on those things.　　253　　00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,460　　我不赖啊　　Good for me.　　254　　00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:35,830　　是啊　　你不赖　　Yeah, good for you.　　255　　00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:38,090　　等等　　Oh, wait.　　256　　00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:42,290　　你想聊聊为什么事心烦吗?　　Did you want to talk about what's bothering you?　　257　　00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:44,560　　不知道　　可以吧　　I don't know. maybe.　　258　　00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:46,360　　哇　　我今晚真是太强了　　Wow. I'm on fire tonight.　　259　　00:11:51,180 --> 00:11:53,160　　...是这样　　Uh... here's the thing.　　260　　00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:57,660　　像佩妮这样的女孩是不会和玩时间机器的人在一起的　　Girls like penny never end up with guys who own time machines.　　261　　00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,530　　我不同意　　I disagree.　　262　　00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:01,860　　你追求佩妮失败的经历　　Your inability to successfully woo penny　　263　　00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:05,160　　是要远远早于得到时间机器的日期的　　Long predates your acquisition of the time machine.　　264　　00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,830　　这个失败是显而易见的　　That failure clearly stands on its own.　　265　　00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,030　　多谢指出　　Thanks for pointing it out.　　266　　00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,060　　此外　　你的前提是有瑕疵的　　In addition, your premise is flawed.　　267　　00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,990　　在原版电影中　　罗德·泰勒就是用时间机器　　In the original film, rod taylor got yvette mimieux　　268　　00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:18,590　　得到了伊薇特·米米亚克斯(电影女主角)　　With that very time machine.　　269　　00:12:18,810 --> 00:12:21,390　　回到未来　　马帝·麦克佛莱得到了机会　　In back to the future, marty mcfly got the opportunity　　270　　00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,930　　和他魅力十足的年轻妈妈鬼混　　To hook up with his extremely attractive young mother.　　271　　00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:27,860　　那些都是电影　　Those are movies.　　272　　00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,360　　当然都是电影　　Of course they're movies.　　273　　00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:31,430　　你难道指望我举出个现实版　　Were you expecting me to come up with an example　　274　　00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,290　　时间机器的例子吗?　　Involving a real-life time machine?　　275　　00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:37,060　　荒谬　　That's absurd.　　276　　00:12:39,780 --> 00:12:40,890　　加油啊　　伙计们　　用力推!　　Come on, guys, push!　　277　　00:12:41,110 --> 00:12:42,590　　如果我再用力　　If I push any harder,　　278　　00:12:42,810 --> 00:12:44,560　　就快把结肠给"分娩"出来了　　I'm going to give birth to my colon.　　279　　00:12:45,740 --> 00:12:47,160　　好　　各位　　Oh, hey, guys.　　280　　00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:48,160　　你好　　佩妮　　Oh. hi, penny.　　281　　00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,490　　休息一会吧　　Take a break, guys!　　282　　00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:55,190　　你们在干什么　　What are you doing?　　283　　00:12:55,410 --> 00:12:59,030　　你知道　　就是搬搬时间机器　　Oh, you know, just moving a time machine.　　284　　00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,860　　好的　　不错　　但我要赶去工作了　　所以...　　Yeah. okay, neat, but I really gotta get to work, so...　　285　　00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,590　　没问题　　No problem.　　286　　00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:10,890　　坚持一下　　Hang on.　　287　　00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:14,530　　但是...你的时间机器怎么办　　But... what about your time machine?　　288　　00:13:14,740 --> 00:13:16,930　　有些事情比玩具更重要　　Some things are more important than toys.　　289　　00:13:25,740 --> 00:13:27,390　　我好害怕　　I'm scared.　　290　　00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:30,060　　不要害怕　　宝贝　　有我在　　Don't worry, baby. I've got you.　　291　　00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:31,260　　哦　　莱纳德　　Oh, leonard.　　292　　00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:53,430　　仍旧该我了　　It's still my turn.　　293　　00:13:59,190 --> 00:14:00,110　　你干什么　　What are you doing?　　294　　00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,480　　把我收集的所有东西打包　　I'm packing up all my collectibles　　295　　00:14:03,690 --> 00:14:05,880　　然后带下去卖给漫画书店　　And taking them down to the comic book store to sell.　　296　　00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:08,280　　真的有必要吗　　Was that really necessary?　　297　　00:14:08,490 --> 00:14:10,410　　如果需要钱　　你随时可以卖血啊　　If you need money, you can always sell blood.　　298　　00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:14,610　　还有精液　　And semen.　　299　　00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:16,580　　这和钱无关　　This is not about money.　　300　　00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,740　　我们带了吃的　　We brought food!　　301　　00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,940　　熏鲑鱼和硬面包圈　　时间旅人的早餐　　Lox and bagels, the breakfast of time-travelers.　　302　　00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,210　　棒极了　　Terrific.　　303　　00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:24,780　　有人想要买我时间机器里的股份吗　　Does anyone want to buy my share of the time machine?　　304　　00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:25,510　　怎么　　Why?　　305　　00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:26,910　　我不想再要了　　I don't want it anymore.　　306　　00:14:27,130 --> 00:14:27,910　　为什么　　Why?　　307　　00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:29,510　　...私人原因　　Just... personal reasons.　　308　　00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:31,450　　我蜘蛛侠一般的嗅觉告诉我　　My spidey sense tells me　　309　　00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:32,710　　这和佩妮有关　　This has something to do with penny.　　310　　00:14:32,930 --> 00:14:34,110　　听着　　Look,　　311　　00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:36,410　　-你们到底想不想要买股份?　　-我给你　　Do you want to buy me out or not? I'll give you　　312　　00:14:36,630 --> 00:14:38,040　　100美元　　这样我就是半个拥有者了　　A hundred dollars, which will make me half-owner　　313　　00:14:38,260 --> 00:14:39,340　　然后我们把它放到我的阳台上去　　And we'll put it on my balcony.　　314　　00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:40,640　　去你的阳台　　Screw his balcony.　　315　　00:14:40,860 --> 00:14:42,440　　我给你120美元　　我要放到我的车库　　I'll give you $120 and we'll put it in my garage.　　316　　00:14:42,660 --> 00:14:44,440　　我的股份当时是200美金　　I paid $200 for my share.　　317　　00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:45,680　　小子　　大家都知道　　Dude, everybody knows　　318　　00:14:45,890 --> 00:14:47,110　　时间机器会因为转让　　A time machine loses half its value　　319　　00:14:47,330 --> 00:14:48,610　　而贬低一半的价值　　The minute you drive it off the lot.　　320　　00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:50,780　　我付200　　I'll go for $200.　　321　　00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:52,41" type="audio/mpeg" />-->