00:03:18,810　　生活大爆炸　　第三季第三集　　2　　00:00:01,380 --> 00:00:04,720　　今晚我要出去　　心情大好　　I'm going out tonight, I'm feelin' alright　　3　　00:00:04,810 --> 00:00:08,800　　我要好好爽一下　　Gonna let it all hang out　　4　　00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:12,840　　放声歌唱　　升三个八度　　Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice　　5　　00:00:13,010 --> 00:00:16,880　　耶　　我要大唱大叫　　Yeah, I wanna scream and shout　　6　　00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:20,420　　滴滴啦啦　　De-de-de, de-de-de-de-de, uh　　7　　00:00:20,630 --> 00:00:24,130　　不　　早安　　谢尔顿　　和我一起跳舞吧　　No.. Morning, Sheldon. Come dance with me.　　8　　00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,370　　不要　　No.　　9　　00:00:27,430 --> 00:00:29,940　　干嘛不要　　Why not?　　10　　00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:32,440　　佩妮　　我支持"多个世界"理论　　Penny, while I subscribe to　　11　　00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,940　　这个理论表明　　The "many worlds" theory which pots the existence　　12　　00:00:34,990 --> 00:00:36,540　　在无限个宇宙中存在着　　Of an infinite number of sheldons　　13　　00:00:36,610 --> 00:00:38,210　　无限个谢尔顿　　In an infinite number of universes,　　14　　00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,630　　我向你保证其中没一个"我"是在跳舞的　　I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.　　15　　00:00:42,220 --> 00:00:45,950　　那这些"你"里有没有幽默一点的　　Are you fun in any of them?　　16　　00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:46,870　　根据推算　　The math would suggest　　17　　00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:49,640　　其中有几个"我"是糖娃娃　　That in a few I'm a clown made of candy.　　18　　00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:52,600　　但是绝不跳舞　　But I don't dance.　　19　　00:00:53,450 --> 00:00:54,880　　行吧　　来点法式吐司不　　Alright, want some French toast?　　20　　00:00:54,910 --> 00:00:56,980　　今天是燕麦粥日　　It's oatmeal day.　　21　　00:00:57,050 --> 00:01:01,450　　这样吧　　下个法式吐司日　　我给你煮燕麦粥　　Tell you what, next French toast day, I'll make you oatmeal.　　22　　00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,150　　神啊　　你还要在这赖到法式吐司日啊　　Dear lord, are you still going to be here on French toast day?　　23　　00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:10,580　　早啊　　Morning.　　24　　00:01:10,610 --> 00:01:11,560　　莱纳德　　你看啊　　Look, Leonard,　　25　　00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:13,500　　佩妮烤了法式吐司　　Penny made French toast.　　26　　00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,900　　抱歉我还没给她你的用餐日程表　　Sorry I haven't given her your schedule yet.　　27　　00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,530　　那是个iCal[Apple电子日程表]下载啊　　It's an iCal download.　　28　　00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:19,270　　她可以直接下到手机里的　　She can put it right in her phone.　　29　　00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,990　　而且我想咱们说好了的　　And I thought we agreed　　30　　00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:23,590　　你们只在她那儿行房事　　That you'd have your conjugal visits in her apartment.　　31　　00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:26,510　　是说好了　　但是现在是特殊情况　　We did, but there were extenuating circumstances.　　32　　00:01:26,590 --> 00:01:27,580　　我明白了　　I see.　　33　　00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,040　　她浑身的傻气　　Did her abysmal housekeeping skills　　34　　00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,880　　终于被她那盖世的家务活能力打压下去了是吗　　Finally trump her perkiness?　　35　　00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:37,090　　不　　是她的床有点散架了　　No, her bed kind of... Broke.　　36　　00:01:37,150 --> 00:01:39,420　　这是不太可能的　　That doesn't seem likely.　　37　　00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:41,740　　她的床的构造很结实　　Her bed's of sturdy construction.　　38　　00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:42,630　　就算多承重一个　　Even the addition of a second　　39　　00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,310　　正常体型的人类也不会引致其床架松动的　　Normal size human being wouldn't cause a structural failure,　　40　　00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,950　　更别提像你这样的小雏形人了　　Much less a homunculus such as yourself.　　41　　00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:50,620　　小雏形人　　A homunculus?　　42　　00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:54,040　　功能健全的迷你型人类　　Perfectly formed miniature human being.　　43　　00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:58,440　　你这我的小宝贝雏形人　　Oh, you're my little homunculus.　　44　　00:01:58,510 --> 00:02:00,010　　别这样　　Don't do that.　　45　　00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:03,220　　抱歉 好啦　　谁要普通糖浆谁要肉桂糖浆呀　　Sorry. Okay, who wants syrup and who wants cinnamon sugar?　　46　　00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:04,400　　我要燕麦粥　　I want oatmeal.　　47　　00:02:04,470 --> 00:02:05,570　　行啊　　Yes, well　　48　　00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,280　　我想要个室友不是大混蛋的男朋友　　I want a boyfriend whose roommate isn't a giant pain in the ass.　　49　　00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:11,080　　这个愿望很快就能实现了　　I'm sure that will happen soon enough.　　50　　00:02:11,770 --> 00:02:14,590　　但我还是要燕麦粥　　But in the meantime, I still want oatmeal.　　51　　00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:16,790　　得了　　我投降　　You know what, I give up.　　52　　00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:17,990　　怎么会有他这种人　　He's impossible.　　53　　00:02:17,990 --> 00:02:20,850　　怎么会没有　　我就是存在的　　I can't be impossible, I exist.　　54　　00:02:20,910 --> 00:02:22,700　　我相信你想说的是　　I believe what you meant to say is,　　55　　00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:25,230　　"我投降　　这种人几乎是不存在的"　　"I give up, he's improbable."　　56　　00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:32,890　　谢尔顿　　你真得换个方式　　Sheldon, you really need to find a better way　　57　　00:02:32,980 --> 00:02:34,140　　和佩妮相处了　　Of dealing with penny.　　58　　00:02:34,140 --> 00:02:35,380　　那我该怎么做　　What am I supposed to do--　　59　　00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:37,180　　在礼拜一吃法式吐司吗　　Eat french toast on a Monday?　　60　　00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:39,880　　这种情况才是不存在的　　Now, that would be impossible.　　61　　00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:42,570　　我只是说　　你想抓苍蝇的话得用蜂蜜　　I'm just saying, you can catch more flies with honey　　62　　00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:43,770　　而不是醋　　Than with vinegar.　　63　　00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,890　　你用粪粪还能抓更多呢　　You can catch even more flies with manure.　　64　　00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,260　　你到底想说什么　　What's your point?　　65　　00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,890　　这个...　　It's a...　　66　　00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,700　　天　　还挺香的呢　　Boy, that does smell good.　　67　　00:02:55,770 --> 00:02:57,150　　太遗憾了　　今儿就是礼拜一　　Too bad it's Monday.　　68　　00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:28,220　　我们经理基姆去休产假了　　Okay, Kim the night manager went on maternity leave　　69　　00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:29,940　　她老公叫桑迪　　And her husband's name is Sandy, right?　　70　　00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,210　　然后　　So get this--　　71　　00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,500　　顶她班的是一个叫桑迪的女人　　Her replacement is a woman named Sandy　　72　　00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,870　　而她老公叫基姆　　Whose husband's name is Kim.　　73　　00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:41,290　　-哇啊　　-是啊　　- Wow!　　- I know!　　74　　00:03:41,350 --> 00:03:43,150　　这什么概率哦　　What are the odds?　　75　　00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,210　　很好算嘛　　Easily calculable.　　76　　00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,130　　先找到几对双方都取中性名字的　　We begin by identifying a set of married couples　　77　　00:03:46,190 --> 00:03:47,530　　已婚夫妇　　With unisex names.　　78　　00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:48,910　　然后剔除那些不适合　　We then eliminate those unqualified　　79　　00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:49,630　　从事餐饮工作的　　For restaurant work--　　80　　00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:52,230　　比如说年老的　　坐牢的　　残疾的　　The aged, the imprisoned and the limbless, for example,　　81　　00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:54,420　　-再然后就　　-谢尔顿　　- Next we look at... - Sheldon--　　82　　00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,090　　这是一个奇妙的巧合　　It's an amazing coincidence.　　83　　00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,640　　就这样了行吗　　Can we leave it at that?　　84　　00:03:57,710 --> 00:04:00,840　　对不起　　I'm sorry.　　85　　00:04:01,010 --> 00:04:05,340　　喔佩妮　　你们奶酪蛋糕工厂就好像是巫婆们开的　　Ooh, Penny. It's as if the cheese-cake factory is run by witches.　　86　　00:04:08,450 --> 00:04:12,420　　喔谢尔顿　　别以为我不会揍你　　Ooh, Sheldon, it's as if you don't think I'll punch you.　　87　　00:04:13,490 --> 00:04:15,860　　行啦　　你俩　　别吵了　　Come on, you guys, let it go.　　88　　00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:17,040　　哼　　随便吧　　Fine, whatever.　　89　　00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,530　　你吃完了吗　　Are you finished?　　90　　00:04:19,580 --> 00:04:20,990　　谢了　　Well, thank you.　　91　　00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:22,910　　多么体贴　　How thoughtful.　　92　　00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,910　　你要吃巧克力吗　　Would you like a chocolate?　　93　　00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,880　　好啊　　Um, yeah, sure.　　94　　00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,590　　多谢啦　　Thanks.　　95　　00:04:33,010 --> 00:04:35,940　　这算什么　　What was that?　　96　　00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:38,730　　你让我对佩妮好点的　　You said be nice to Penny.　　97　　00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:40,510　　我觉得给别人喂巧克力　　I believe offering chocolate to someone　　98　　00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,780　　能够符合"好"的定义　　Falls within the definition of nice.　　99　　00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,200　　没错　　It does.　　100　　00:04:44,270 --> 00:04:46,870　　但就我观察　　你这人不符合　　But in my experience, you don't.　　101　　00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:50,490　　何瑞修　　宇宙间无奇不有　　There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,　　102　　00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,480　　不是你的哲学全能梦想得到的[第一幕;第五景]　　Than are dreamt of in your philosophy　　103　　00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:54,230　　这才是你嘛　　Now that's you　　104　　00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,450　　讨厌而且让人难以忍受　　Obnoxious and insufferable.　　105　　00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:05,590　　日居者们　　你们好啊　　What's going on, day dwellers?　　106　　00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:10,540　　KISS[美重金属乐队]粉丝团也废除了"不许问不许说"[美军处理同性恋旧政策]吗　　Oh, man, did the kiss army repeal "don't ask, don't tell"?　　107　　00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:11,750　　不是　　No.　　108　　00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,910　　我和拉杰要去好莱坞的哥特夜总会　　Raj and I are going to a goth club in Hollywood　　109　　00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,950　　和夜猫子一起玩儿　　To hang with the night people.　　110　　00:05:17,970 --> 00:05:19,350　　有人想一起去吗　　Anybody want to come along?　　111　　00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,960　　你真要这样上街吗　　Oh, wow, you're actually going out like that?　　112　　00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,510　　不不　　No, no.　　113　　00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,310　　我要这样上街　　I'm going out like this...　　114　　00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:29,480　　霍华德　　你做了些什么　　Howard, what did you do?　　115　　00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,010　　这叫纹身袖　　They're called tattoo sleeves.　　116　　00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,130　　看　　Look.　　117　　00:05:34,190 --> 00:05:35,440　　我在网上买的　　拉杰也买了一身　　I go them online! Raj got a set, too..　　118　　00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,820　　帅死了　　是吧　　Fantastic, right?　　119　　00:05:40,910 --> 00:05:43,030　　穿上它　　就能和前卫女孩　　Put them on, have hot sex with some freaky girl　　120　　00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,030　　发生韵事　　脱下他　　With her business pierced, take them off,　　121　　00:05:45,110 --> 00:05:47,610　　我依旧是个恪礼守节的犹太人　　I can still be buried in a jewish cemetery.　　122　　00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:50,120　　知道吗　　You know, I've always wanted　　123　　00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,320　　我一直都想去哥特夜总会　　To go to a goth nightclub.　　124　　00:05:51,370 --> 00:05:52,320　　真的吗　　Really?　　125　　00:05:52,370 --> 00:05:53,590　　才怪呢　　Bazinga!　　126　　00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:59,160　　没有人能察觉到我的玩笑　　对吧　　None of you ever see my practical jokes coming, do you?　　127　　00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:01,090　　你们俩去吗　　Okay, how about you two?　　128　　00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,710　　我还带了几个纹身袖　　Look, I've got some extra tatoo sleeves.　　129　　00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,830　　你带那么多干什么　　Why are you carrying extras?　　130　　00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,840　　万一被哪个女人的乳环刮破了好有个替换呀　　In case I snag one on someone's nipple ring.　　131　　00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:11,440　　我们就不去了　　Uh, yeah, I think we'll pass.　　132　　00:06:11,510 --> 00:06:16,510　　你现在就得"妻管严"了吗　　Oh, is the missus speaking for the couple now?　　133　　00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:19,610　　这件事　　肯定她说了算　　In this case, you bet she is.　　134　　00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:24,400　　是啊　　她很强势　　他受压迫　　Yes, she's pushy, and yes, he's whipped,　　135　　00:06:24,490 --> 00:06:28,240　　但是不能这么说　　But that's not the expression.　　136　　00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:32,160　　快走　　我要去沃尔格林药店　　Come on, I want to stop at walgreens　　137　　00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,030　　再多买几支眼线笔　　And pick up some more eyeliner.　　138　　00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:41,200　　他们在夜总会要被揍了　　They're gonna get beaten up at that club.　　139　　00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:44,400　　我看他们在药店就会被揍　　They're gonna get beaten up at walgreens.　　140　　00:06:47,890 --> 00:06:48,980　　抱歉　　谢尔顿　　Oh, sorry, Sheldon.　　141　　00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,380　　我差点坐在你的专座上　　I almost sat in your spot.　　142　　00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,230　　是吗　　我都没注意　　Did you? I didn't notice.　　143　　00:06:53,310 --> 00:06:55,180　　给你块巧克力吧　　Have a chocolate.　　144　　00:06:56,220 --> 00:06:58,180　　谢谢　　Thank you.　　145　　00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:15,000　　我觉得我们很适合这里　　I think we're fitting quite nicely.　　146　　00:07:15,070 --> 00:07:18,070　　要是你不喝低度啤酒就更好了　　It did help if you weren't drinking light beer.　　147　　00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,260　　喝伏特加和蔓越莓果汁就显得比我更有哥特风格吗　　What's so gothic about vodka and cranberry juice?　　148　　00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:23,880　　是啊　　这看起来像在饮血　　Hello? It looks like blood.　　149　　00:07:23,930 --> 00:07:25,750　　你没去看我发给你的　　Did you even read the "wiki how" link　　150　　00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,460　　手把手学哥特风格的WikiHow链接吗　　I sent you on being goth?　　151　　00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:30,130　　没　　我自己的东西还看不玩呢　　No, I'm behind on my wiki-reading.　　152　　00:07:30,220 --> 00:07:32,940　　我正在读约翰·格里沙姆[法律惊悚小说《掮客》作者]　　I'm kind of on a John Grisham kick right now.　　153　　00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,020　　什么　　What?　　154　　00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,050　　我看完了《绝对机密》　　I finished reading The Pelican Brief　　155　　00:07:36,090 --> 00:07:38,530　　我太喜欢了　　已经完全身临其境了　　And loved it so much, I dived right into the client.　　156　　00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:39,560　　他本身就是个律师　　He was a lawyer himself,　　157　　00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:43,260　　所以他的小说内容的准确性和娱乐性都很强　　So his novels are accurate as well as entertaining.　　158　　00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:49,070　　要记住　　我们是浪荡子　　暗夜之子　　Just remember we are lost boys, children of the night.　　159　　00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,570　　好的　　浪荡子　　暗夜之子　　Great. Lost boys, children of the night.　　160　　00:07:51,620 --> 00:07:52,790　　明白了　　Got it.　　161　　00:07:52,870 --> 00:07:56,630　　能帮忙把小吃递过来吗　　Can you pass the chex mix please?　　162　　00:07:57,910 --> 00:07:59,210　　谢谢　　Thank you.　　163　　00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:05,180　　我们是浪荡子　　We are lost boys.　　164　　00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:08,300　　是吗　　Good for you.　　165　　00:08:08,390 --> 00:08:11,590　　其实我比他更放浪　　I'm actually much more lost than he is.　　166　　00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:14,730　　纹身不错　　Nice ink.　　167　　00:08:14,730 --> 00:08:16,650　　谢谢　　Thanks.　　168　　00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:18,310　　能请两位小姐喝点东西吗　　Can we buy you ladies a drink?　　169　　00:08:19,370 --> 00:08:20,750　　两杯低度啤酒　　Two light beers.　　170　　00:08:20,820 --> 00:08:23,600　　低度啤酒吗　　"WiliHow"该把这个写进去　　Light beers. "Wiki how" about that?　　171　　00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,610　　你们叫什么　　What's your names?　　172　　00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:29,110　　-我叫霍华德　　拉杰　　-我是贝萨妮　　-I'm Howard. Raj. -I'm Bethany.　　173　　00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,540　　很高兴见到你　　贝萨妮　　Nice to meet you, Bethany.　　174　　00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:31,710　　很高兴　　Yes, very nice.　　175　　00:08:31,780 --> 00:08:33,210　　我也是　　Nice to meet you, too.　　176　　00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,080　　我叫莎拉　　I'm Sarah.　　177　　00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:36,920　　反正也没人关心　　Not that anyone cares.　　178　　00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:44,010　　两位小姐喜欢看约翰·格里沙姆的小说吗　　Do either of you ladies enjoy the novels of John Grisham?　　179　　00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,450　　这动画片叫什么来着　　What's this cartoon called again?　　180　　00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,170　　恶魔武士　　Oshikuru: Demon samurai.　　181　　00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,820　　恶魔武士不是动画片　　Demon it's not a cartoon.　　182　　00:09:00,910 --> 00:09:03,130　　是动漫　　It'anime.　　183　　00:09:03,190 --> 00:09:04,440　　动漫　　Anime.　　184　　00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:07,200　　高中时有个女生叫安娜·梅(Anime和Anna May谐音)　　You know, I knew a girl in high school named Anna May.　　185　　00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,780　　安娜·梅·弗莱彻　　Anna May Fletcher.　　186　　00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:13,840　　她天生单鼻孔　　She was born with one nostril.　　187　　00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,910　　她后来的整鼻手术很失败　　Then she had this bad nose job　　188　　00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:17,910　　最后竟然弄成了三个鼻孔　　And basically wound up with three.　　189　　00:09:23,110 --> 00:09:26,320　　你现在经常混在这儿了　　You're here a lot now.　　190　　00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:28,330　　我话太多了吗　　Oh, am I talking too much?　　191　　00:09:28,390 --> 00:09:29,440　　抱歉　　我不说了　　I'm sorry. Zip.　　192　　00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,570　　谢谢　　Thank you.　　193　　00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,910　　吃块巧克力吧　　Chocolate?　　194　　00:09:32,970 --> 00:09:35,310　　好的　　Yes please.　　195　　00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,670　　基姆 你好　　Oh. Hey, Kim.　　196　　00:09:44,990 --> 00:09:46,040　　请你稍等一下　　You know what,hold on.　　197　　00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,800　　我到楼道里去接电话　　Let me take this in the hall.　　198　　00:09:56,460 --> 00:09:59,130　　你绝对想不到他们找谁来接替你的工作　　You'll never guess who they got to replace you at work.　　199　　00:10:00,670 --> 00:10:04,140　　我知道你在干什么了　　Okay, I know what you're doing.　　200　　00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,610　　真的吗　　Really?　　201　　00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:08,590　　你在用巧克力做正面教法　　Yes, you're ung chocolates as positive reinforcement　　202　　00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:12,060　　对你认为良好的行为进行奖励　　For what you consider correct behavior.　　203　　00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:15,920　　真聪明　　Very good.　　204　　00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:17,880　　来块巧克力吗　　Chocole?　　205　　00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,970　　我不想要什么巧克力　　No, I don't want any chocolate!　　206　　00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:23,730　　谢尔顿　　Sheldon,　　207　　00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:28,730　　你不能拿我女朋友当实验鼠一样对待　　You can't train my girlfend like a lab rat.　　208　　00:10:28,730 --> 00:10:31,630　　事实证明　　我可以　　Actually, it turns out I can.　　209　　00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:34,570　　你不应该这么做　　well, you shouldn't.　　210　　00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,700　　莱纳德　　就是没法让你满意　　是吧　　There's just no pleasing you, is there, Leonard?　　211　　00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:37,920　　你不满意　　You weren't happy　　212　　00:10:38,010 --> 00:10:39,910　　我之前那样对她　　With my previous approach to dealing with her,　　213　　00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,680　　所以我决定根据桑代克和B.F.斯金纳的理论　　So I decided to employ operant conditioning techniques,　　214　　00:10:42,740 --> 00:10:44,910　　采取操作性条件反射的办法　　Building on the works of thorndike and B.F. Skinner.　　215　　00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:46,460　　下周的这个时候　　By this time next week,　　216　　00:10:46,550 --> 00:10:48,850　　我相信我能让她从水池里一跃而出　　I believe I can have her jumping out of a pool,　　217　　00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,750　　用鼻子平衡塑料气球　　Balancing a beach ball on her nose　　218　　00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:55,090　　不行　　这一套必须打住　　No, this has to stop now.　　219　　00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:59,280　　我不是真的建议让她从水池里跳出来　　I'm not suggesting we really make her jump out of a pool.　　220　　00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,190　　我以为你该听出了我的"才怪了"　　I thought the "bazinga" was implied.　　221　　00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:04,360　　咱们不过是调整她个性　　We're just tweaking her personality.　　222　　00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,600　　用另一种说法　　就是把那些粗糙表面磨磨光　　Sanding off the rough edges, if you will.　　223　　00:11:06,670 --> 00:11:08,820　　不行　　你不能磨佩妮　　No. You're not sanding Penny.　　224　　00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:12,270　　你是说不许我使用　　Are you saying that I am forbidden　　225　　00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,320　　能让改进我们生活的　　From applying a harmless, scientifically valid protocol　　226　　00:11:15,410 --> 00:11:16,980　　无害的科学有效的正常手段　　That will make our lives better?　　227　　00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,980　　是的　　我不许　　Yes. You're forbidden.　　228　　00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,220　　坏莱纳德　　Bad Leonard.　　229　　00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:34,970　　那你们俩是做什么的　　So, what do you guys do?　　230　　00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:37,270　　就是些　　哥特东西喽　　Oh, you know, goth stuff.　　231　　00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,190　　哥特杂志喽　　哥特音乐喽　　Goth magazines, goth music.　　232　　00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:40,830　　哥特食品喽　　Goth food.　　233　　00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:43,010　　什么哥特食品　　What's goth food?　　234　　00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:47,030　　呃　　黑焦三文鱼?　　Uh. Blackened salmon?　　235　　00:11:48,650 --> 00:11:51,320　　不是　　我是问你们的工作　　No, I meant what do you do for jobs?　　236　　00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:53,040　　我们是科学家　　Oh, we're scientists.　　237　　00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,430　　当然　　是黑科学的　　Yeah, you know, the dark sciences.　　238　　00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:57,340　　什么是黑科学　　What are the dark sciences?　　239　　00:11:57,430 --> 00:11:58,590　　我们　　We...　　240　　00:11:58,660 --> 00:12:00,930　　我是个天体物理学家　　Well, I am an astrophysicist,　　241　　00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,180　　很多工作都要在晚上进行　　And a lot of that takes place at night.　　242　　00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:06,170　　那时候也有吸血鬼呀　　When there are vampires　　243　　00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:09,060　　僵尸呀什么的到处乱跑　　And miscellaneous undead out and about.　　244　　00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:14,840　　听起来很酷啊　　That sounds really cool.　　245　　00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:18,780　　真的吗　　好吧　　要是你喜欢宇宙那类的　　Does it? Okay. If you like space stuff,　　246　　00:12:18,850 --> 00:12:20,870　　我设计国际太空站的部分呢　　I design components for the international space station,　　247　　00:12:20,950 --> 00:12:22,240　　在太空里　　Which is in space.　　248　　00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,850　　你肯定知道　　那里没人能听到你喊叫　　Where, as I'm sure you know, no one can hear you scream.　　249　　00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:29,880　　那么　　两位女士是做什么的　　So, what do you gals do?　　250　　00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:31,240　　我在盖普服装店　　I work at the gap.　　251　　00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:34,360　　真的　　可真有趣　　我曾经去过盖普啊　　Really? How about that? I've been to the gap.　　252　　00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,500　　我也去过　　I've been there, as well.　　253　　00:12:35,550 --> 00:12:38,530　　我喜欢你们那种有小口袋的T恤衫　　I like your t-shirts with the little pocket.　　254　　00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:43,090　　我也在那儿上班　　反正也没人关心　　I work the, too. Not that anyone cares.　　255　　00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:46,890　　这地方真无聊　　You know, this place is boring.　　256　　00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:51,050　　可不　　咱们去别的地方开心开心吧　　Yeah why don't we go somewhere else and have some fun?　　257　　00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:52,150　　好啊　　Okay.　　258　　00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:53,600　　当然　　我们喜欢开心　　Sure we like fun.　　259　　00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,070　　我们是开心的人　　We are fun people.　　260　　00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,390　　又黑暗又开心　　Dark and fun.　　261　　00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,190　　来吧　　我知道一个地方你们肯定喜欢　　Come on. I know a place you'll really dig.　　262　　00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:04,390　　你带来黑色避孕套吗　　Did you bring the black condoms?　　263　　00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,560　　就在腰包包里啦　　In my fanny pack.　　264　　00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:06,610　　走吧　　Let's go.　　265　　00:13:13,620 --> 00:13:16,160　　现在高兴了　　Are you happy now?　　266　　00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,840　　没有特别高兴　　Not particularly　　267　　00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:26,800　　天啊　　她没有吧　　My god, she didn't!　　268　　00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:30,150　　她究竟在说什么要这么久　　What could she possibly be talking about for so long?　　269　　00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:33,270　　显然　　在芝士蛋糕厂做招待　　Obviously, waitressing at the cheesecake factory　　270　　00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,860　　是个复杂的社会经济性活动　　Is a complex socioeconomic activity　　271　　00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:39,680　　而且需要相当多的研究与计划　　That requires a great deal of analysis and planning.　　272　　00:13:40,850 --> 00:13:42,870　　才怪了　　"bazinga."　　273　　00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,840　　知道么　　采用　　You know, using positive　　274　　00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:49,210　　正面鼓励式方法　　我能在一个星期之内　　Reinforcement techniques, I could train that behavior　　275　　00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:51,110　　让她改变这个恶习　　Out of her in a week.　　276　　00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:52,380　　不　　No.　　277　　00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,810　　要是你让我用负面鼓励法　　If you let me use negative reinforcement,　　278　　00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,110　　睡觉前我就能做到　　I can get it done before we go to bed.　　279　　00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:59,620　　你不能用水喷她的脸　　You're not squirting her in the face with water.　　280　　00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:00,950　　当然不　　No, of course not.　　281　　00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,990　　我说的是十分轻微的电击法　　We're talking very mild electric shocks.　　282　　00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:06,370　　连组织损伤都不会有　　No tissue damage whatsoever.　　283　　00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,060　　别想了　　Forget it.　　284　　00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:10,340　　你不可能告诉我　　Oh, come on. You can't tell me　　285　　00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:12,760　　给你打造一个更好的女朋友　　That you're not intrigued out the possibility　　286　　00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:14,660　　让你一点都不动心　　Of building a better girlfriend.　　287　　00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,070　　我没有　　I'm not.　　288　　00:14:16,130 --> 00:14:18,150　　佩妮的个性 好的和坏的　　Well, and Penny's qualities, both good and bad,　　289　　00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,300　　合成了她这个人　　Are what make her who she is.　　290　　00:14:23,690 --> 00:14:26,860　　你是说　　比如那个让人无法忍受的尖笑声　　You mean, like that high-pitched, irritating laugh?　　291　　00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:32,320　　你就不想希望一个低嗓门的笑声吗　　You wouldn't prefer a throaty chuckle?　　292　　00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:35,050　　不许你改变佩妮的笑声　　You're not changing how Penny laughs.　　293　　00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:37,090　　那才是荒诞呢　　No, that would be incongruous.　　294　　00:14:37,150 --> 00:14:38,590　　我打算把她的声音整体降低　　I was going to lower the whole voice　　295　　00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,970　　到一个令人愉快的音区　　To a more pleasing register.　　296　　00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,840　　对不起啦　　伙计　　Ugh. Sorry, guys.　　297　　00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:45,760　　那丫头是个怪物　　That girl is freaky.　　298　　00:14:45,830 --> 00:14:47,660　　再说一遍　　Come again?　　299　　00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:49,160　　怪物　　Freaky.　　300　　00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,250　　怪物　　Freaky?　　301　　00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,970　　怪物　　Ah, freaky.　　302　　00:14:58,580 --> 00:15:01,080　　吃块巧克力吧　　Have a chocolate.　　303　　00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,950　　谢谢　　Thank you.　　304　　00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,490　　你真打算破坏你的身体　　Are you seriously going to damage your body　　305　　00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:16,460　　就为了有可能吊上一个　　Just for the possibility you could have cheap sex　　306　　00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:18,340　　在酒吧里遇到的马子?　　With a strange girl you met in a bar?　　307　　00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:21,630　　当然　　Yeah!　　308　　00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:23,630　　你妈妈会怎么说　　What is your mother going to say?　　309　　00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,470　　她根本看不到那里　　She's not going to see it.　　310　　00:15:25,540 --> 00:15:28,220　　她现在量我体温都是放嘴里的　　She takes my temperature orally now.　　311　　00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:32,710　　霍华德　　你打算要什么样的　　What are you going to get, Howard?　　312　　00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,730　　我不知道该选　　Well, I can't really decide　　313　　00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:37,310　　尖叫魔鬼　　骇人小头骨　　Between a screaming devil, this mean little skull,　　314　　00:15:37,380 --> 00:15:39,720　　或是青蛙柯米特　　Or kermit the frog.　　315　　00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:42,130　　青蛙柯米特　　Kermit the frog? You know.　　316　　00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,020　　你好　　我在霍华德的屁股上　　Hi-ho. I'm on Howard's butt.　　317　　00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,490　　刺个骇人小头骨　　Get the mean little skull,　　318　　00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,580　　我会让它笑起来　　And I'll see if I can make him smile.　　319　　00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:51,160　　请给我刺一个骇人小头骨　　Yeah, I'd like the mean little skull, please.　　320　　00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:54,560　　你要什么　　拉杰　　What are you going to get, Raj?　　321　　00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,950　　像我这种运气　　肝炎差不多　　With my luck, hepatitis.　　322　　00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,620　　好了　　我们开始　　Okay, here we go.　　323　　00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:03,640　　只擦了点酒精棉花　　That's just rubbing alcohol.　　324　　00:16:03,710 --> 00:16:06,540　　我知道　　但凉凉的　　I know, but it was cold.　　325　　00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:10,250　　我在放图案　　I'm putting on the stencil.　　326　　00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:12,050　　放完后怎么做　　What comes after the stencil　　327　　00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,310　　够了　　到此为止　　Okay, that's it.　　328　　00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:21,470　　不刺针　　不痛苦　　不纹身　　No needle. No pain. No tattoo.　　329　　00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,340　　小事一桩而已　　你又不是没纹过　　What's the big deal? You've done this before.　　330　　00:16:23,410 --> 00:16:25,310　　我没纹过　　No, I haven't.　　331　　00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,810　　看　　Look.　　332　　00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:29,600　　抱歉　　我骗了你们　　I'm sorry. I'm a fraud.　　333　　00:16:29,650 --> 00:16:30,650　　他是个骗子　　He's a fraud.　　334　　00:16:30,730 --> 00:16:31,820　　我们都说谎了　　We're both frauds.　　335　　00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:32,940　　我不是已经说过了吗　　Yeah, I think I covered that.　　336　　00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,220　　我是在总结　　But I was summing up.　　337　　00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:40,880　　我们不是哥特　　我们只是普通人　　We're not Goth. We're just...guys.　　338　　00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:42,830　　非常　　非常聪明的人　　Very, very smart guys.　　339　　00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:44,780　　那你们一直在骗人　　So you were totally scamming us?　　340　　00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:46,450　　是的　　Yes.　　341" type="audio/mpeg" />-->