00:00:04,130　　两年之后　　突然有人敲门了　　So two years later, there's a knock on the door.　　2　　00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,300　　那人打开门　　看见门口立着只蜗牛　　Guy opens it, and there on his porch is the snail,　　3　　00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,360　　蜗牛说　　"这TM是怎么回事?"　　who says, "What the heck was all that about?"　　4　　00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,660　　我不知道笑点在哪儿　　I don't really get it.　　5　　00:00:13,730 --> 00:00:17,000　　你看　　蜗牛花了两年的时间才...　　Well, see, it took two years for the snail to...　　6　　00:00:20,860 --> 00:00:23,300　　那不重要　　Not important.　　7　　00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:26,000　　-我能问你个问题吗　　-当然　　- Can I ask you a question?　　- Sure.　　8　　00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,860　　你认为我们会发展到什么程度　　Where do you think this is going?　　9　　00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:32,260　　老实说　　我本来希望至少上个二垒　　To be honest, I was hoping at least second base.　　10　　00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:35,260　　你真风趣　　You're so funny.　　11　　00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,700　　你就像是个单口相声演员　　You're like a stand-up comedian.　　12　　00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:41,730　　一个犹太单口相声演员　　这很新鲜　　A Jewish stand-up comedian, that'd be new.　　13　　00:00:42,630 --> 00:00:46,760　　事实上　　我觉得他们当中很多都是犹太人　　Actually, I think a lot of them are Jewish.　　14　　00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:50,800　　不　　我只是　　算了　　No, I was just... Never mind.　　15　　00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,630　　霍华德　　这是我们的第三次约会　　Look, Howard, this is our third date　　16　　00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:55,660　　我们都知道这意味着什么　　and we both know what that means.　　17　　00:00:55,660 --> 00:00:58,630　　-都知道吗　　-性　　- We do?　　- Sex.　　18　　00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:02,800　　你开玩笑的吧　　You're kidding.　　19　　00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,500　　但我需要知道你是要谈　　But I need to know whether you're looking　　20　　00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:08,360　　一场恋爱还是要一夜情　　for a relationship or a one-night stand.　　21　　00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,200　　好的　　只是搞清楚点　　Okay, just to be clear:　　22　　00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,200　　这个问题只有一个正确答案吗　　there's only one correct answer, right?　　23　　00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,000　　而不是飞机选餐里的要"鸡肉还是鱼肉"　　It's not like "chicken or fish" on an airplane?　　24　　00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,230　　也许你需要认真思考一下这个问题了　　Maybe you need to think about it a little.　　25　　00:01:18,230 --> 00:01:20,360　　也不是没有过　　You know, it's not unheard of　　26　　00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:23,500　　从一夜情发展为恋爱关系的事　　for a one-night stand to turn into a relationship.　　27　　00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,830　　等你想明白了再给我打电话　　Call me when you figure it out.　　28　　00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:34,630　　三次约会意味着性　　Three dates means sex?　　29　　00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,760　　谁知道啊　　Who knew?　　30　　00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,230　　向你致敬　　宅男　　Greetings, homies.　　31　　00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,460　　宅女　　Homette.　　32　　00:01:47,460 --> 00:01:50,000　　为什么这么早就结束约会回来了　　Why are you back from your date so early?　　33　　00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,800　　谈恋爱　　就要跟在娱乐业一样　　In romance, as in show business,　　34　　00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,330　　总是要让观众欲求不满　　always leave them wanting more.　　35　　00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:59,030　　这到底是什么意思　　What exactly does that mean?　　36　　00:01:59,030 --> 00:02:01,060　　他被三振出局了　　He struck out.　　37　　00:02:19,210 --> 00:02:20,810　　生活大爆炸　　第三季第九集　　38　　00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,760　　你们两个知道　　Hey, did either of you guys know　　39　　00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,400　　与同一个女人约会三次　　that three dates with the same woman　　40　　00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,300　　就可以上床的临界点?　　is the threshold for sex?　　41　　00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:35,400　　事实上　　我从未与同一女人约会三次　　Actually, I've never had three dates with the same woman.　　42　　00:02:36,230 --> 00:02:38,930　　而我和佩妮花了两年　　With Penny and me, it took two years.　　43　　00:02:38,930 --> 00:02:42,800　　现在认真回想一下　　的确是三次约会　　Now that I think about it, that was three dates.　　44　　00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,600　　好吧　　那在你和佩妮搞上之前　　Okay, well, before you and Penny hooked up,　　45　　00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,060　　她有没有要求什么承诺　　Did she ask for any kind of commitment?　　46　　00:02:48,060 --> 00:02:50,200　　没　　她倒是非常清楚地表示　　No, she was pretty clear about　　47　　00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,000　　要有保持随时换人的权力　　wanting to keep her options open.　　48　　00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,330　　我有东西要宣布一下　　I have something to announce,　　49　　00:02:55,330 --> 00:02:57,800　　但是出于惯例　　我会等你们　　but out of respect for convention, I will wait for you　　50　　00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,600　　说完现在的话题　　to finish your current conversation.　　51　　00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,260　　你们在聊什么呢　　What are you talking about?　　52　　00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,460　　一种文化模式　　The cultural paradigm in which people have sex　　53　　00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:04,760　　就是人们会在三次约会后做爱　　after three dates.　　54　　00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:06,100　　原来如此　　I see.　　55　　00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:08,300　　现在我们是说的"date"是指社交活动　　Now, are we talking "date," the social interaction,　　56　　00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:10,760　　还是指干枣　　or "date," the dried fruit?　　57　　00:03:12,930 --> 00:03:15,530　　算了　　你要宣布什么　　Never mind, what's your announcement?　　58　　00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:18,000　　很好　　轮到我了　　这令人非常兴奋　　Oh, good, my turn. Well, this is very exciting　　59　　00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,060　　并且我想让你们最先知道　　and I wanted you to be among the first to know...　　60　　00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:21,200　　嗨　　库珀　　Hey, Cooper.　　61　　00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,600　　我听说你下周要和《科学星期五》的　　I hear you're going to be on the radio　　62　　00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,230　　艾拉·弗雷托上广播节目　　with Ira Flatow from Science Friday next week.　　63　　00:03:24,230 --> 00:03:27,860　　谢谢　　克瑞普克　　剥夺了我跟我的朋友　　Thank you, Kripke, for depriving me of the opportunity　　64　　00:03:27,860 --> 00:03:30,100　　分享这则资讯的机会　　to share my news with my friends.　　65　　00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:32,030　　很荣幸　　My pleasure.　　66　　00:03:32,030 --> 00:03:33,860　　我的"谢谢"可不是诚恳的　　My "thank you" was not sincere.　　67　　00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:36,300　　但我的"很荣幸"是的　　But "my pleasure" is.　　68　　00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,350　　让我问你个问题　　Let me ask you a question:　　69　　00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:41,330　　什么时候国家公共广播　　At what point did National Public Radio　　70　　00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:43,260　　不得不邀请一些废材　　have to start scraping the bottom of the barrel　　71　　00:03:43,260 --> 00:03:44,930　　作为嘉宾呢　　for its guests?　　72　　00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:47,760　　别回答　　这是个比喻　　Don't answer. It's rhetorical.　　73　　00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,900　　为什么你是个笨蛋　　Why are you such a stupid head?　　74　　00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:54,630　　这也是个比喻　　That is also rhetorical.　　75　　00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:58,100　　真抱歉你们不得不听到这些　　I'm sorry you had to hear that.　　76　　00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:00,200　　你真的要上国家公共广播吗　　Are you really going to be on NPR?　　77　　00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,130　　没错　　他们通过我办公室的电话采访我　　Yes, they're interviewing me by phone from my office,　　78　　00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:05,160　　问一些最近所谓的"发现"　　regarding the recent so-called "discovery"　　79　　00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,530　　关于自旋冰中的磁单极子　　of magnetic monopoles in spin-ices.　　80　　00:04:07,530 --> 00:04:10,300　　因为是誓言周　　他们想通过一些辩论　　It's pledge week and they're trying to goose the ratings　　81　　00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,060　　来提高收听率　　with a little controversy.　　82　　00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:14,500　　真酷　　恭喜你　　Very cool, congratulations.　　83　　00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,730　　谢谢　　我妈妈也非常兴奋　　Thank you. My mother is very excited.　　84　　00:04:16,730 --> 00:04:19,630　　她召集了她的圣经学习小组来收听　　She's convening her Bible study group to listen in,　　85　　00:04:19,630 --> 00:04:22,100　　然后为我的灵魂祈祷　　and then pray for my soul.　　86　　00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,430　　我曾经上过一次电台　　I was on the radio once.　　87　　00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,730　　我打进了新德里的狂热FM104的热线　　I called in to Fever 104 FM New Delhi　　88　　00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:29,160　　成为了第四个说一句话就能拿钱的人　　and was the fourth person to say the phrase that pays:　　89　　00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,860　　"狂热104　　aajke naye　　acchha sangeetka ghar."　　"Fever 104, aajke naye　　acchha sangeetka ghar."　　90　　00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:37,300　　意思是　　"狂热104　　That means: "Fever 104,　　91　　00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:39,830　　超棒流行音乐之家　　home of the really good current music."　　92　　00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,200　　还是在印度语里说更拉风　　It's much catchier in Hindi.　　93　　00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:49,800　　好的　　这些是明天上国家公共广播　　All right. These are the talking points　　94　　00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,430　　访谈的讲点　　for my NPR interview tomorrow.　　95　　00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:54,430　　我必须确定它们对于那些　　I need to make sure that they're simple enough　　96　　00:04:54,430 --> 00:04:57,660　　教育程度较低的听众来说也足够简单易懂　　for the less educated in the audience to understand.　　97　　00:04:57,660 --> 00:05:01,300　　霍华德　　看一遍然后告诉我你哪里不懂　　Howard, look this over and tell me what's unclear to you.　　98　　00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:03,900　　劳驾　　我有麻省理工大学的　　Excuse me, I have a master's degree in engineering　　99　　00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:06,000　　工程硕士学位证书　　from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.　　100　　00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,700　　要求修完144个学分　　It required the completion of 144 units of grad work　　101　　00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,130　　和一篇原创论文　　and an original thesis.　　102　　00:05:10,130 --> 00:05:12,730　　没错　　Yes.　　103　　00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,260　　看完告诉我有哪些不清楚的　　Look this over and tell me what's unclear to you.　　104　　00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,960　　谢尔顿让你做事　　You know, when Sheldon gives you homework,　　105　　00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,860　　你可以拒绝　　you don't have to do it.　　106　　00:05:20,860 --> 00:05:22,560　　其实你拒绝更好　　In fact, it's better if you don't,　　107　　00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,800　　不然搞得我们几个很尴尬　　otherwise it makes the rest of us look bad.　　108　　00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,400　　-各位好　　-你好　　- Hi, guys. - Hey. Hello.　　109　　00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,900　　拉杰　　跟我说话　　Yo, Raj, talk to me.　　110　　00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:39,930　　抱歉　　耍你而已　　I'm sorry, just screwing with you.　　111　　00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,230　　霍华德　　你干嘛不打电话给伯纳黛特　　Hey, Howard, why haven't you called Bernadette?　　112　　00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:46,730　　她说什么了吗　　Did she say something?　　113　　00:05:46,730 --> 00:05:48,430　　她说你一个星期没跟她联系了　　Yeah, she said she hasn't heard from you in a week.　　114　　00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:49,630　　我以为你喜欢她呢　　I thought you liked her?　　115　　00:05:49,630 --> 00:05:52,030　　是喜欢　　但她要我给个承诺　　I do, but she wants a commitment　　116　　00:05:52,030 --> 00:05:54,430　　我又不确定她是不是我喜欢的类型　　and I'm not sure she's my type.　　117　　00:05:54,430 --> 00:05:56,060　　她都愿意免费跟你约会　　She agreed to go out with you for free.　　118　　00:05:56,060 --> 00:05:57,730　　你还想怎么样　　What more do you need?　　119　　00:05:57,730 --> 00:06:00,130　　伯纳黛特是很好　　Look, Bernadette is really nice.　　120　　00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:02,400　　我只是一直觉得　　当我想认真的对待感情时　　I just always thought when I finally settle down　　121　　00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,560　　对方应该是一个　　into a relationship, it would be with someone,　　122　　00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,330　　你知道　　一个特别的人　　you know, different.　　123　　00:06:06,330 --> 00:06:07,830　　怎么特别　　Different how?　　124　　00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:12,030　　更像《变形金刚》里的梅根·福克斯啦　　Well, you know, more like Megan Fox from Transformers.　　125　　00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,100　　或者《太空堡垒卡拉狄加》里的　　Or Katee Sackhoff　　126　　00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:16,030　　凯蒂·萨克霍夫啦　　from Battlestar Galactica.　　127　　00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:18,430　　你嗑药啦　　Are you high?　　128　　00:06:19,430 --> 00:06:21,000　　你跟《宇宙威龙》里有三个咪咪的　　You'd have a better shot with the three-breasted　　129　　00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,500　　火星妓女在一起的可能性更大点　　Martian hooker from Total Recall.　　130　　00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:27,430　　你说的太不实际了　　Okay, now you're just being unrealistic.　　131　　00:06:28,330 --> 00:06:29,960　　那部电影都差不多20年了　　Anyway, that movie was like 20 years ago.　　132　　00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,630　　想想那些咪咪该下垂成什么样了　　Imagine how saggy those thing would be.　　133　　00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:39,100　　霍华德　　你想守着你的荒诞幻想不放　　Howard, you're going to throw away a great girl like Bernadette　　134　　00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:41,760　　而放过像伯纳黛特这么好的女生吗　　because you're holding out for some ridiculous fantasy?　　135　　00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,700　　你的感情定下来了不代表我也要这样吧　　Hey, just because you settled doesn't mean I have to.　　136　　00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,530　　喂　　我在这坐着呢　　Excuse me, I'm sitting here.　　137　　00:06:50,330 --> 00:06:52,600　　我又没有和莱纳德定下来　　Hey, I did not settle for Leonard.　　138　　00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:56,800　　他显然不像我通常约会的类型　　I mean, obviously, he isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with...　　139　　00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,200　　体格上不像　　you know, physically.　　140　　00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,500　　再说一次　　我在呢　　Again, I'm right here.　　141　　00:07:02,460 --> 00:07:04,600　　我的意思是　　我不会以封面断定书的好坏　　My point is, I do not judge a book by its cover.　　142　　00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,260　　我更在意人的内心　　I am interested in the person underneath.　　143　　00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,660　　我在这吧　　你看得见我　　I am here, right? You see me.　　144　　00:07:13,860 --> 00:07: 18,030　　我也在意人的内心啊　　Hey, I'm interested in what's inside people, too,　　145　　00:07:18,030 --> 00:07:21,260　　但是希望内心外面包装点像　　but why is it wrong to want those insides wrapped up in,　　146　　00:07:21,260 --> 00:07:24,930　　哈莉·贝瑞（肤色黑）的巧克力不对吗　　say, the delicious caramel that is Halle Berry?　　147　　00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:29,360　　对　　你也是巧克力装　　Yes, you're delicious caramel, too.　　148　　00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:35,960　　行　　我告诉为什么不对　　All right, you know what, I will tell you　　149　　00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,600　　抱歉　　我能插下话吗　　why it's wrong... Excuse me, may I interject?　　150　　00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:38,600　　干嘛　　What?　　151　　00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,460　　从生物学角度上说　　Biologically speaking,　　152　　00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,500　　霍华德想找最佳伴侣繁殖后代　　Howard is perfectly justified in seeking out the optimum mate　　153　　00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,160　　完全合情合理　　for the propagation of his genetic line.　　154　　00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,360　　-谢谢　　谢尔顿　　-不过　　- Thank you, Sheldon. - Now, whether that　　155　　00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:50,530　　但这种繁殖如果站在人类进化的角度来看　　propagation is in the interest of humanity is, of course,　　156　　00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:52,360　　又是完全不同的问题　　an entirely different question.　　157　　00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,900　　我是艾拉·弗莱托　　This is Ira Flatow and you're listening　　158　　00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:59,830　　您正在收听的是公共广播电台的周五科学　　to NPR's Science Friday.　　159　　00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:01,300　　今晚跟我们电话连线的是　　Joining us today by phone　　160　　00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,800　　在加州帕萨迪纳办公室里的　　from his office in Pasadena, California　　161　　00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,830　　谢尔顿·库珀博士　　is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.　　162　　00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:08,560　　这个肯定很好玩　　Oh, this is going to be a riot.　　163　　00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:13,100　　欢迎参加我们的节目　　库珀博士　　Thanks for being with us today, Dr. Cooper.　　164　　00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:15,760　　我很荣幸　　艾拉　　My pleasure, Ira.　　165　　00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,730　　我们讨论一下磁单极子吧　　Now, let's talk about magnetic monopoles.　　166　　00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:22,760　　你能给听众解释一下什么是磁单极子吗　　Can you explain to our audience just what a monopole is?　　167　　00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:23,930　　当然可以　　Of course.　　168　　00:08:23,930 --> 00:08:28,330　　首先　　一块普通的磁铁　　First, consider an ordinary magnet which has,　　169　　00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:29,960　　即使教育程度再低的听众　　as even the most uneducated　　170　　00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,730　　都应该知道　　有两个磁极　　in your audience must know, two poles.　　171　　00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:37,830　　南极和北极　　A north and south pole.　　172　　00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:41,330　　把磁铁切成两半　　则变成较小的两块磁铁　　If you cut that in half, you have two smaller magnets,　　173　　00:08:41,330 --> 00:08:44,060　　每块都有南北两极　　each with its own north and south pole.　　174　　00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:47,060　　库珀博士　　我们的连线　　Uh, Dr. Cooper, I think there might be　　175　　00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,560　　可能出了点问题　　something wrong with our connection.　　176　　00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:51,930　　不　　我听得很清楚　　No, I hear you fine.　　177　　00:08:51,930 --> 00:08:56,060　　正如我刚刚说的　　普通磁铁有两个磁极　　As I was saying, an ordinary magnet has two poles.　　178　　00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:58,630　　磁单极子的主要特征是　　The primary characteristic of a monopole　　179　　00:08:58,630 --> 00:09:02,200　　它只有一个磁极　　因此称为磁单极子　　is that it has only one pole, hence, monopole.　　180　　00:09:03,730 --> 00:09:05,830　　弦理论　　或者说M理论　　A requirement for string theory,　　181　　00:09:05,830 --> 00:09:07,760　　的一个必要条件　　or M-theory, if you will,　　182　　00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,560　　是存在磁单极子　　is the existence of such monopoles.　　183　　00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,800　　我本人曾带领一个考察队　　I, myself, led an expedition　　184　　00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,900　　前往北极圈探寻这种粒子　　to the Arctic Circle in search of said particles.　　185　　00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:17,530　　克瑞普克　　我看到喷嘴了　　你死定了　　Kripke, I found the nozzle! I'm going to kill you!　　186　　00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:26,400　　真高兴你今晚能和我共浴　　So nice you could join me this evening.　　187　　00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,600　　你跟往常一样漂亮　　You're looking lovely as always.　　188　　00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:31,330　　过奖　　霍华德　　Thanks, Howard.　　189　　00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:34,130　　一向乐意加入你的手淫幻想　　Always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies.　　190　　00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:37,460　　别这样嘛　　凯蒂　　Come on, Katee.　　191　　00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:39,160　　何必说得这么低俗呢　　Don't make it sound so cheap.　　192　　00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,600　　抱歉　　在浴缸里自欺欺人　　I'm sorry, fiddling with yourself in the bathtub　　193　　00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,460　　确实是出类拔萃的行为　　is a real class act.　　194　　00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,160　　谢谢　　Thank you.　　195　　00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:50,030　　我们可以开始了吗　　So, shall we get started?　　196　　00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:53,000　　当然　　Sure.　　197　　00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,860　　但我能先问你个问题吗　　But can I ask you a question first?　　198　　00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:57,300　　你想扮演赛昂人和殖民者吗　　Do you want to play Cylon and colonist?　　199　　00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:58,660　　不　　No.　　200　　00:09:58,660 --> 00:10:00,500　　我很奇怪　　你明明可以和真人约会　　I want to know why you're playing make-believe with me　　201　　00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,400　　却在这里和我玩性幻想游戏　　when you could be out with a real woman tonight.　　202　　00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,500　　你是指伯纳黛特吗　　You mean, Bernadette?　　203　　00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,700　　不　　我是指莱娅公主(星战人物　　路克·天行者的双胞胎妹妹)　　No, I mean Princess Leia.　　204　　00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:08,330　　我当然指的是伯纳黛特　　Of course I mean Bernadette.　　205　　00:10:08,330 --> 00:10:11,500　　她是个很好的女孩儿　　真的喜欢你　　She's a wonderful girl and she really likes you.　　206　　00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:14,300　　我知道　　但她不是你　　I know, but she's not you.　　207　　00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,600　　我又不是真实的　　I'm not me.　　208　　00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:18,630　　真正的我现正在比弗利山庄　　The real me is in Beverly Hills　　209　　00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:20,330　　和某个英俊高大的有钱人约会呢　　Going out with a tall, handsome, rich guy.　　210　　00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:21,600　　真的吗　　很高大吗　　Really? Tall?　　211　　00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,260　　-一米九三呢　　-哇哦　　- Six-four. - Ouch.　　212　　00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:26,900　　问题在于　　你遇到了一个好女孩　　The point is, you've got a wonderful girl in your life,　　213　　00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:28,830　　但却宁愿整晚在浴缸里对着虚拟影像　　And you're ignoring her in order to spend your nights　　214　　00:10:28,830 --> 00:10:32,030　　和浴巾性幻想　　也不去理她　　in the bathtub with a mental image and a wash cloth.　　215　　00:10:34,430 --> 00:10:36,100　　霍华德　　Howard!　　216　　00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:38,330　　你到底在里面干嘛　　What are you doing in there?　　217　　00:10:38,330 --> 00:10:40,260　　我在洗澡　　I'm taking a bath!　　218　　00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:42,330　　你可别做啥其他猥琐的事　　I hope that's all you're doing!　　219　　00:10:42,330 --> 00:10:44,460　　那浴缸我也要用　　We share that tub!　　220　　00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,000　　别提醒我　　Don't remind me!　　221　　00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:53,360　　老天　　Oh, man.　　222　　00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:57,100　　都是泡泡　　没有我子孙的容身之地了　　All soaped up and no place to go.　　223　　00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,930　　哥们儿　　你还好吧　　How ya doin', buddy?　　224　　00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:08,500　　我在国家电台上被当众羞辱　　I was humiliated on national radio.　　225　　00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:09,660　　能好受才怪　　How do you think I'm doing?　　226　　00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,460　　拜托　　没这么夸张吧　　Come on, it wasn't that bad.　　227　　00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:13,200　　你们来干嘛　　What do you want?　　228　　00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,360　　(绿野仙踪中的麦琪肯人欢迎多萝西)　　(munchkin voice): We represent the Lollipop Guild,　　229　　00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,530　　我们是棒棒糖团队　　欢迎你的到来　　and we want you.　　230　　00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,300　　好啊　　克瑞普克捉弄了你一下　　Okay, so Kripke played a joke on you.　　231　　00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,600　　不好笑　　It wasn't funny.　　232　　00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,660　　-我觉得很好笑　　-拉杰　　- I thought it was funny. - Raj.　　233　　00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:30,000　　你也笑了啊　　You laughed.　　234　　00:11:31,460 --> 00:11:32,830　　你笑了吗　　Did you laugh?　　235　　00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:36,230　　我笑得滚到地板上了　　I fell on the floor.　　236　　00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,200　　好吧　　这次是他赢了　　All right, he got you.　　237　　00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,600　　你可以以牙还牙嘛　　You can get him back.　　238　　00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,830　　我才不要堕落到他那种水准　　I refuse to sink to his level.　　239　　00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:45,000　　你落不了　　体内充满了氦气　　You can't sink. With all that helium in you,　　240　　00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,200　　遇水不飘走就算你走运啦　　you're lucky you don't float away.　　241　　00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,330　　你当真认栽了吗　　Are you really admitting defeat?　　242　　00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:53,800　　我从不认栽　　I never admit defeat.　　243　　00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,960　　很好　　Good.　　244　　00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,200　　但是　　从另一个方面讲　　However, on an unrelated topic,　　245　　00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,130　　我再也抬不起头做人了　　I am never getting out of this bed again.　　246　　00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,230　　那何不这样　　你设法捉弄克瑞普克　　What if you could make Kripke　　247　　00:12:01,230 --> 00:12:03,130　　让他看起来比你更蠢　　look even sillier than he made you look?　　248　　00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:04,300　　我觉得这不可能　　老兄　　I don't think that's possible, dude.　　249　　00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:05,730　　你尽说些丧气话　　You're not helping.　　250　　00:12:05,730 --> 00:12:08,800　　我本就不是来说好话　　我是来吐糟的　　I didn't come to help, I came to mock.　　251　　00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,400　　谢尔顿　　你现在得好好想想　　Sheldon, what you need to do is figure out a way　　252　　00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,230　　到底怎么报复克瑞普克　　to exact vengeance on Kripke, like, uh,　　253　　00:12:15,230 --> 00:12:18,700　　好比蝙蝠侠把疯子罪犯小丑扔进了　　like, how the Joker got back at Batman for putting him　　254　　00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:21,700　　亚克汗疯人院　　事后他不是越狱了吗　　in the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane.　　255　　00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,400　　是啊　　他不光是待在里面对其他　　That's true. He didn't just stay there and talk about　　256　　00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,800　　精神病恶棍大吐苦水　　His feelings with the other psychotic villains.　　257　　00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:28,230　　还越狱了　　还对哥谭市的供水系统投毒　　He, he broke out and poisoned Gotham's water supply.　　258　　00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,100　　好吧　　Well...　　259　　00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:34,260　　-那我该给克瑞普克下毒　　-不　　- I suppose I could poison Kripke. - No!　　260　　00:12:34,260 --> 00:12:35,730　　不　　这其实很简单　　No. It's a simple matter.　　261　　00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:37,260　　有那么几种有毒化学物　　There are several toxic chemicals　　262　　00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:40,260　　尸检是查不出来的　　that'd be untraceable in an autopsy.　　263　　00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,660　　你抓到了要领　　Okay, uh, that's the spirit,　　264　　00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:46,030　　但手段可以温柔点　　but, um, let's dial it back　　265　　00:12:46,030 --> 00:12:49,160　　不要置人于死地　　to a non-lethal form of vengeance.　　266　　00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:54,630　　这样　　在他的办公室椅子上弄个放屁垫　　How about we whoopee cushion on his office chair?　　267　　00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,000　　他一坐下　　听起来就像是有胃气胀　　He'll sit down, it'll sound like　　268　　00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,460　　尽管他不是真有胃气胀　　he's flatulent, even though he's not.　　269　　00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:02,930　　还是再想想吧　　Let's keep thinking.　　270　　00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,230　　老兄　　你可来晚了　　Oh, gee, you're too late.　　271　　00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:11,600　　斯嘉丽·乔纳森和神奇女侠　　Scarlett Johansson and Wonder Woman were just in here　　272　　00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,460　　刚在这里轮番歌颂神经质和胆小鬼呢　　trolling around for neurotic, little weasels.　　273　　00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:17,330　　我来找伯纳黛特　　她今天上班吗　　I came to talk to Bernadette. She's working today, right?　　274　　00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,830　　是啊　　但我觉得她不想见你　　Yes, but I don't think she wants to see you.　　275　　00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:20,860　　为啥　　Why not?　　276　　00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:22,560　　得了　　霍华德　　你伤害了她　　Come on, Howard. You hurt her feelings　　277　　00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:24,000　　一个星期都不给人家电话　　by not calling her all week.　　278　　00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,400　　加上我还说了你不少坏话　　Plus, I've kind of been talkin' some smack about ya.　　279　　00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:29,400　　好啊　　霍华德　　Hello, Howard.　　280　　00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,530　　等下　　伯纳黛特　　我有话对你说　　Wait, Bernadette, I need to talk to you.　　281　　00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:32,660　　现在不成　　我在工作呢　　I can't now, I'm working.　　282　　00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:34,200　　就一会儿　　This will only take a second.　　283　　00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,960　　你之前让我好好考虑　　You asked me to think about where　　284　　00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,930　　我们之间的关系　　好吧我想过了　　our relationship was going, and I did.　　285　　00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:41,700　　伯纳黛特　　Bernadette?　　286　　00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:48,000　　你愿意嫁给我吗　　Will you marry me?　　287　　00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:53,030　　我不明白　　这算是玩笑吗　　Is this more comedy that I don't understand?　　288　　00:13:53,030 --> 00:13:56,000　　不　　我是认真的　　No. I'm serious.　　289　　00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,600　　你是我生命中的唯一　　I'm never going to find another girl like you　　290　　00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:02,500　　重要的是　　你是真心喜欢我　　who likes me and is, you know, real.　　291　　00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:05,930　　这不是开玩笑吗　　So, this isn't a joke?　　292　　00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:08,660　　-不是　　-那你铁定疯了　　- No. - Then you're insane.　　293　　00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:13,330　　我觉得自己这是突施奇招　　I prefer to think of myself as quirky.　　294　　00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,700　　霍华德　　我们只约会了三次　　Howard, we've only been on three dates.　　295　　00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:17,800　　甚至还没上过床　　We haven't even had sex yet.　　296　　00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,000　　你说得对　　Fair enough.　　297　　00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,100　　你什么时候下班　　When's your break?　　298　　00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:29,060　　好事将成　　你们嫉妒我了不是　　Don't you just hate when this happens?　　299　　00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:38,460　　好了　　用这个来复仇如何　　All right, how's this for revenge?　　300　　00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,930　　一剂过氧化氢[双氧水]　　A solution of hydrogen peroxide,　　301　　00:14:40,930 --> 00:14:44,530　　加上一剂饱和碘化钾　　and one of saturated potassium iodide.　　302　　00:14:44,530 --> 00:14:45,700　　这又是什么　　What's this?　　303　　00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:47,900　　山露汽水[碳酸饮料]　　Mountain Dew.　　304　　00:14:50,060 --> 00:14:52,160　　啊　　真是提神醒脑　　Ahh, refreshing.　　305　　00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,630　　然后将这两样化学制剂　　与普通洗碗剂结合　　We're going to combine these chemicals with ordinary dish soap,　　306　　00:14:55,630 --> 00:15:00,130　　就会放热　　释放出氧　　creating a little exothermic release of oxygen.　　307　　00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,000　　泡沫复仇记　　Foamy vengeance.　　308　　00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,230　　完全正确　　Yes, exactly.　　309　　00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:16,400　　谢尔顿　　这招实在是高　　This is brilliant, Sheldon.　　310　　00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,430　　但你怎么布置到克瑞普克的办公室　　How are we going to deploy it in Kripke's office?　　311　　00:15:18,430 --> 00:15:20,300　　早就布置好了　　Already taken care of.　　312　　00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,560　　注意看　　Observe.　　313　　00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:26,400　　通过迷你摄像头拍摄到的克瑞普克实验室实况　　This is a live shot of Kripke's lab via a mini webcam　　314　　00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,130　　拜我偷塞到看门人衬衫口袋里的美钞所赐　　I was able to install, thanks to a dollar bill" type="audio/mpeg" />-->