43

　　and I'd wasted no time getting to the dinner.

　　When I arrived at the

　　44 ，1 apologized and told Eleanor I didn't mean to be late. She screamed, "You never mean to." Well, I

　　45

　　tell she was angry. "I'm sorry but it was not

　　46

　　," I said. Then I told her about the business meeting.

　　47

　　, my explanation seemed to make things worse, which started to drive

　　48

　　mad as well.

　　Several weeks later, when I

　　49

　　the situation to my friend Ken Hardy, he smiled, "You

　　50

　　a classic mistake. You're stuck

　　51

　　your own way of thinking. You didn't

　　52

　　to be late. But that's not the point. What is

　　53

　　in your communication is how your lateness affected Eleanor." He pointed out that I focused on the intention

　　54

　　Eleanor focused on the result. Thus,

　　55

　　of us felt misunderstood and crazy.

　　Thinking more about Ken's words, I

　　56

　　recognized the root cause of such disagreement. It's the result of the action that really

　　57 .I should have started the conversation by expressing

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