“We do not have a favorite child. ”

　　Mom and Dad will say it seriously. They’ll repeat it endlessly, and in many cases, they’ll be lying through their teeth. It’s one of the worst kept secrets of family life that all parents have a preferred son or daughter, and the rules for acknowledging it are the same everywhere. The favored kids recognize their status and keep quiet about it—the better to preserve the good thing they’ve got going and to keep their siblings(兄弟或姐妹)off their back. The unfavored kids howl(嚎叫)about it like wounded cats. And on pain of death, the parents deny it all.

　　The stonewalling is understandable. Most parents want to spare unfavored kids the hurt that the truth could cause. Moreover, the court of public opinion can respond pitilessly—even furiously—to moms or dads who speak the forbidden truth. Last March, a mother of two wrote a post on the website Babble. com under the headline I THINK I LOVE MY SON JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE. The mom went on at length describing the greater warmth she feels for her baby boy compared with her baby girl and even included a photo of herself and her unfavored daughter.

　　She was, predictably, severely criticized. “Please work on your issues, lady! ” said one typical response. “I feel absolutely horrible for your daughter! ” read another. But then there was this: “I completely understand. I too feel this way. ”

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