That ability to depend on myself has served me very well through life.The independence and self-reliance not only affected my physical abilities.It came to shape me emotionally too.However,it can,at times,also be a huge weight to bear.

　　As my physical strength has been affected by rheumatoid arthritis,a disease that causes pain and swelling in one or more joints of the body,there have been many lessons for me in learning how to receive help.My health is now much improved compared to what it was a couple of years ago,or even last year.Daily challenges do still exist,but I have learned that it is OK to ask for help.

　　The joy that others receive in lending a hand has made me realise that it is almost selfish to not ask for help!There is no need to deny others the pleasure of helping.If we are in need,it is more than OK to ask for assistance.Physical and emotional self-reliance are strengths,certainly,when used well.But the overuse of independence is unhealthy,unbalanced and unnecessary.

　　Since being a mum,too,I’ve been given lots of lessons on the need to connect,and to acknowledge that I’m vulnerable and need others to rely on.There are certainly times like this in all of our lives,whether a parent or not.Sometimes life does just get too much.

　　If we can loosen our need for independence,though,and grow into more interdependence,ease and space do grow.The braver we are to reach out and be open,the easier life is.It not only gives us emotional relief,but it brings joy and stronger connections in our relationships.

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