Once students recognize that conflict is unavoidable, they can practice the golden rule of conflict resolution(解决)：stay calm. Once the student feels calmer, he or she should choose words that will calm the other person down as well. Rude words, name­calling, and accusations only add fuel to the emotional fire. On the other hand, soft words spoken at a normal sound level can put out the fire before it explodes out of control.

　　After both sides have calmed down, they can use another key strategy(策略) for conflict resolution: listening. Listening allows the two sides to understand each other. One person should describe his or her side, and the other person should listen without interrupting. Afterward, the listener can ask non­threatening questions to clarify the speaker's position. Then the two people should change roles.

　　Finally, students need to consider what they are bearing. This doesn't mean trying to figure out what's wrong with the other person. It means understanding what the real issue is and what both sides are trying to accomplish. For example, a shouting match over a peanut butter sandwich might happen because one person thinks the other person is unwilling to try new things. Students need to ask themselves questions such as these：How did this start? What do I really want? What am I afraid of? As the issue becomes clearer, the conflict often simply becomes smaller. Even if it doesn't, careful thought helps both sides figure out a mutual solution.

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