56

　　Try the following steps:

　　Calm yourself.

　　57

　　You can take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, or someone you love.

　　Don’t wait for an apology. Many times the person who hurt you does not intend to apologize. They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don’t see things the same way.

　　58

　　Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean becoming friends again with the person who upset you.

　　Take the control away from your offender（冒犯者）. Rethinking about your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you.

　　59

　　If you understand your offender, you may realize that he or she was acting out of unawareness, fear, and even love. You may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender’s point of view.

　　Don’t forget to forgive yourself.

　　60

　　But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don’t do it.

　　A. Why should you forgive?

　　B. How should you start to forgive?

　　C. Recognize the benefits of forgiveness.

　　D. Try to see things from your offender’s angle.

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