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Hit the floor running?

3. Editor’s note: During the half-century that Ione Quinby Griggs wrote an advice column for The Milwaukee Journal’s Green Sheet section, it became something of a tradition for readers — and, sometimes, colleagues at The Journal — to send in letters with made-up problems for Griggs to solve. It’s unclear how often Griggs knew she was dealing with a hoax, although some who worked with her believe that, more often than not, she played along knowingly.

Take this “letter,” published in a March 25, 1961 column, from a husband who claims to have found the secret to marital bliss courtesy the use of an “electric cane” — sounds like a cattle prod — on his television-obsessed wife. Robert W. Wells, The Journal writer who chronicled the history of the newspaper in a 1981 book, says the letter was sent in by Journal Sports Editor Oliver Kuechle; in response, Wells wrote, Griggs played it straight. Judge for yourself.

Thanks to Journal Sentinel columnist Jim Stingl, who tracked down what has long been his favorite Griggs column.

A wife who becomes a television addict, unable to take care of her family properly, may need changing, but will this husband get good results permanently by using an electric cane? Read this letter:

Mrs. Griggs: My wife has been suffering from an ailment known as televisionitis. She has watched those 40-year-old movies and other programs daily until the wee hours.

I was born and raised on a farm. All of my life, Sundays included, I have risen at 4 a.m. Today, I have my own business and still get up at that time, working 13 hours daily, six days a week. So, to have a wife get out of bed like a patient just emerging from the recovery room, staggering in circles with a vacant look in her eyes, doesn’t set well with me.