Losing a father whom you have no recollection of ever living with is difficult. Grieving is tricky; I didn't have any obvious close father-daughter memories to cling to and mull and cry over. Most of my memories were of stilted meetings and uncomfortable times together. But I desperately missed him being alive.
若你连丝毫和父亲一起生活过的记忆都没有,那么失去他必定很煎熬。悲痛让人难以捉摸;父亲和我之间没有什么亲密相处的记忆让我留恋、冥想或恸哭。我的大多记忆是一些让人别扭的碰面和不自在的共处时光。然而现在我是多么怀念他在世的日子啊。
As time moved on my grief and anger at his untimely death began to recede. I realised that his affirmation of me from his deathbed had filled a gaping hole of insecurity I had constantly carried around.
时光荏苒,父亲过早离世带给我的悲伤和气愤开始逐渐减弱。而我也意识到父亲在临终病床上给我的肯定让常年困扰着我的不安全感烟消云散。
To a child a hug says so many things. It tells you that the person hugging you loves you, cares for you. A hug also confirms that you are a lovable being. Months after Dad's death I realised with a jolt that his lack of hugs said more about him than me. My father was not a demonstrative man and I was, therefore, perhaps, a lovable being.
拥抱对一个孩子来说意味着很多。它表示拥抱你的那个人爱你、关心你。同时它也证明你是个讨人喜欢的孩子。父亲过世几个月后,我猛然意识到父亲很少拥抱别人更多是性格所致。他不是个善于表达的人,所以……可能……我是父亲喜欢的孩子。
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