专家表示,要让自己感觉好一点,我们需要善待自己──对此有个专门的名词叫做“自我同情”(self-compassion),另外,还要保持乐观心态,学会积极看待事物。研究显示,会自我同情的人能够更好地处理各种状况,不论是重大的感情破裂还是丢了汽车钥匙。遇到不幸或犯错时,这样的人不容易过于自责,加重自己的负担。汽车抛锚了?没错,遇到这种事是挺烦的,但我们不值得为此像白痴一样抓狂。
'They are treating themselves like a kind friend,' says Mark Leary, professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University. 'When bad things happen to a friend, you wouldn't yell at him.'
杜克大学(Duke University)心理学和神经科学教授马克•莱亚里(Mark Leary)表示,懂得自我同情的人会像对好朋友一样对自己,“如果一个好朋友遇到麻烦,你是不会向他发脾气的。”
In 15 studies conducted over the past seven years, Dr. Leary has found that self-compassionate people are happier. Three of the studies, soon to be published, examine how self-compassion affects people over age 65. The studies found that people who accepted memory lapses, arthritis and other difficulties of getting older, and who treated themselves extra nicely on tough days, reported more positive emotions and were coping better with the aging process.
莱亚里博士从过去七年间进行的15项研究中发现,懂得自我同情的人会更幸福。其中三项研究成果很快即将公开发表,主要研究的是自我同情能力对65岁以上老年人的影响。研究发现,能够坦然接受因为上了年纪而造成的失忆、关节炎或其他问题的人,以及在艰难时刻能够特别善待自己的人,情绪上往往更加积极向上,也更能够轻松面对自己的自然衰老。
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