几周前,我与一位20岁上下的创业家喝咖啡,聊到了约会这个话题。也就是在这个充斥着Facebook、Okcupid和其他五花八门数字服务的年代约会。这位英俊自信的男孩发现,网络实际上让约会变得更加困难,至少他亲身体验了一次不愉快的经历。在某次聚会上,他邀请一位可爱的女孩改天单独约会。约会前,女孩在Facebook上将他加为好友——这很常见——他也同意了。
Once he did, he had access to a trove of information: her favorite bands, movies, TV shows, and recent vacation photos. This might seem like valuable ammunition. The more information one has about the other, the better ... right? But after a few minutes perusing her profile, he nuked the idea of a date. "What were we going to talk about? I felt like I already knew all the answers to the questions I would ask her during coffee," he explained. (He never met up with her.)
互加好友后,他就能看到女孩的个人信息了:她最喜欢的乐队、电影、电视剧和最近度假的照片。这看起来似乎是宝贵的武器。你对她了解得越多,就越有办法把她追到手……对吧?不过阅读她的资料几分钟之后,他打消了约会的念头。他解释道:“我们还谈什么?我觉得我已经知道了见面喝咖啡时想问她的所有问题的答案。”(他之后再没和她见过面。)
His clearly wasn't a case of "true love" or even lust. But here's the point: Just as Facebook (which has made it easier for everyone to keep in touch and now, apparently, "bang") bred its own unique brand of narcissistic etiquette. Online and mobile services have given rise to a pick-and-choose shopping behavior that prioritizes looks more than ever before. Log onto Match.com, and it's a near-endless grid of faces and ages. Sign into the gay mobile app Grindr, and half the photos of guys closest to you may be shots of anonymous torsos. In the case of the former, it's only after you click on someone's profile that you learn more about them. In the case of the latter, I guess words are window dressing.
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