他总是忘记带走垃圾,这的确很烦人,但是唠叨不是上策。男人被激怒的时候,会对女人的婆婆妈妈置若罔闻,这样,恶性循环就开始了——你要求他做什么,他不听,你生气并反复说,结果呢,双方都满腹怨气,甚至开始仇视对方。
Instead of demanding he do things in a nagging tone, try a more positive approach. Give him a cuddle, smile, look him in the eye and ask if he’d mind taking the rubbish out later. You’re much more likely to get what you want with a warm approach and he won’t resent you for asking.
用聪明的办法代替烦人的唠叨。开口前拥抱一下、给个笑脸或用期待地眼光注视他,然后再问他是否可以顺便把垃圾带走。这种以柔克刚的方法更有利于你达到目的,而他也会乐意效劳。
3. Avoiding conflict
回避冲突
Never fighting or failing to bring up issues that are bothering you is a relationship time bomb. When you’re concerned about something it won’t just go away if you ignore it – just like a bump in the carpet it will pop up somewhere else. Remember, it’s normal and healthy for couples to disagree from time to time. As long as you argue constructively and are able to compromise and move ahead, it’s actually good for your relationship.
回避令你闹心的问题,就等于埋下了一枚定时炸弹。当你为某事忧虑时,不去想它不等于它不存在——就像地毯下的硬物,不是在这儿鼓出来,就是在那儿鼓出来。记住,两人之间偶尔意见不合很正常,而且在某种程度上还有益关系和睦。只要你持积极态度去讨论问题,并能得饶人处且饶人,实际上,分歧促进了关系和谐。
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