1. “I’m going to wake up early and get a head start on my day.”

“我明天打算早起。让一天有个好的开始。”

What You Mean: I will incorporate the sound of my alarm clock into my dreams and hit snooze 30 times before being late for work.

你的意思是：我会把闹钟的声音融合到我的梦中，被闹醒后再贪睡大概30次，直到起晚了上班迟到。

2. “I’m definitely going to the gym after work.”

“我下班后一定要去健身。”

What You Mean: OMG, literally 50 unexpected errands just came up that are all non-urgent but I absolutely should do immediately. Too bad about the gym, huh.

你的意思是：哦天呐，多出了50件必须做的事！虽然都不紧急，但我还是应该立刻处理。真糟糕没时间去健身了。

3. “I’m going to start writing down all my expenses and spending less money.”

“我会把所有的开销都记下来，节省开支。”

What You Mean: I’m going to keep track of the money I spend on rent and toilet paper and conveniently forget my reckless, expanding party budget.

你的意思是：我会把房租和买卫生纸用的钱记下来，然后轻易地忘记我在派对上挥霍的钱。

4. “Of course I’m TOTALLY over him!”

“当然，我已经完全忘记他了！”

What You Mean: If you were to wander into my bedroom at 4 a.m., you would find me on his Facebook profile…in a photo album from December 2009.

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