It breaks my heart you never even saw your daughter,let alone更不必说held her. Then your heart rate started going up and your blood pressure started going down. Doctors said they had to get you into theatre straight away.
As they wheeled you out I grabbed your foot and said "I love you". It was the last time I saw you alive.
Minutes later a doctor took me aside and told me Ilaria was showing signs of major brain damage and they didn't expect her to live. I didn't know which of you to turn to first.
I went to see Ilaria in herincubator早产儿保育器. Half an hour later doctors told me the news that would change my life forever. There had been massive bleeding and as they tried to operate you'd had acardiac arrest心搏停止.
My world fell apart. I remember shouting, "Why?"
You were just 27, healthy as can be, and now you were gone. Ananeurysm动脉瘤had caused the bleeding.
No-one could have foreseen it, the doctors did all they could. In the chapel of rest you looked like you were sleeping peacefully. I kissed your face and stroked your hair as I sobbed.
I felt totally lost. Then a nurse came to find me and said something amazing had happened and led me to Ilaria. She'd pulled all the tubes out of her chest and nose and was breathing on her own. The nurses said it was a miracle.
It seemed our Ilaria was determined to stay alive. A nurse laid her in my arms and she began to cry. "Don't worry, Daddy's here," I told her, and she immediately stopped crying.
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