One benefit of this exercise is that you might realise while you want someone who's emotionally open, for example, none of your exes have been. From there, you can start to look for a partner who's more suitable for you.
这种练习的好处之一是你可能会意识到一些事实,比如尽管你想要一个开朗的对象,但是你的前任全都不是这样的人。从此以后,你可以开始寻找一个更适合你的对象。
3. Try not to assume the breakup reflects something wrong with you
不要认为分手反映出你的某种缺陷。
A 2016 paper in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests that your ability to deal with a breakup has a lot to do with your sense of self.
2016年发表在《个性与社会心理学通报》期刊上的一篇论文指出,你应对分手的能力和你对自我的感知有很大关系。
One of the study authors, Lauren Howe, broke it down in The Atlantic:
该研究的作者之一劳伦?霍伊在《大西洋月刊》上分析道:
"In our research, people reported the most prolonged distress after a romantic rejection when it caused their self-image to change for the worse. People who agreed that the rejection made them question who they really were also reported more often that they were still upset when they thought about the person who had rejected them."
“在我们的研究中,人们报告称,如果被甩导致自我形象崩塌,分手后的痛苦期是最长的。那些认同被甩会导致自我怀疑的人当中,更多人报告称,当他们想起那个甩掉自己的人,他们依然会感到痛苦。”
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