(Enter Millis. Millis is big. Real big. Probably 6 1/2 feet tall, weighs twice
as much as Richard. He seems lost, confused. He sees Richard and rumbles over.
Millis grabs the cheeseburger and puts it on his empty tray. Then Millis takes
Richard’s entire lunch and exits. Richard, mouth full of cheeseburger, sits
looking stunned. Enter Jimmy, everybody’s friend. He sees what just happened to
Richard.)
Jimmy (Sitting down): That was Millis Borg. He lost his meal tickets last week,
so he has to steal people’s lunches so he can eat. It means he likes you.
Richard: Oh.
Jimmy: By the way, my name’s Jimmy. What’s your name?
Richard: Richard.
Jimmy (A la Mr. Rogers): Hi, Richard. (Shakes his hand.) I’m a Communication
major. What’s your major?
Richard: Computer Science.
Jimmy: Awesome! Where do you live?
Richard: Kennedy 963.
Jimmy: Really? I’m in K-962! We’re next door neighbors! Wow!
Richard (Sarcastically): Great.
Jimmy: Yeah! Well, see you around.
(Jimmy exits. We hear Richard’s stomach growl. Enter President.)
President: Hi, my name is Dr. Robert M. Misqueue, President of the University.
(Shakes Richard’s hand.) Welcome to NCLU!
Richard: Go to Hell.
(Blackout.)
(Next scene is Richard’s dorm room. A mailbox. Richard is sitting on his bed,
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