"And you? What would you do, friend? "
朋友从书本间抬起头,清亮的眸子闪动着光芒,她嗔怨我道:“真是个麻烦的问题,不
My friend looked up from among the books, her clear eyes shining with light. She resented me and said, "it's a troublesome problem, No
过如果不幸‘遇害’,也许是另一种幸运呢!”
If you are unlucky to be killed, maybe it is another kind of luck
【失分警示】
[point loss warning]
本文是一篇逆向思维的议论文,角度的选择新颖独特。作者从反面证明“好奇心害死人”,给读者一种与众不同之感。材料也很翔实,论证说理形象、幽默。尤其在行文过程中,不像规范的议论文的语言表达方式,显得活泼、生动,可读性较强。
This paper is a converse thinking argumentative paper, the choice of angle is novel and unique. The author proves that "Curiosity Kills people" from the opposite side, which gives readers a different feeling. The materials are also full and accurate, demonstrating the image of reasoning and humor. Especially in the process of writing, unlike the standard way of language expression, it is lively, vivid and readable.
不足的地方:一是开头啰唆,不够简洁、明了。文章开头的“引论”——提出问题要简明,要快速入题。如“好奇心为什么会害死人?且让我来举例说明。”后一句的回答要删去,仅以问句出现就可以了。一是结构不完整。最后的“结论”部分,一定要和文章的开头呼应。因此,结尾可以加上“从她的眼中,我同样看见自己坚定的眼神,把握好奇心,奉献自我!”“这‘害人’的好奇心!”这样,文章的结构就显得浑然一体了。(朱庆和)
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