No one can live forever, no nation can always be in good weather, the country is peaceful and the people are safe. However, as long as each of us has such a faith of brave dedication, such a spirit of brave sacrifice, then, even if there is any storm in the future, we can say that the soul of our nation is still there, and the soul of our nation is forever!
【失分警示】
[point loss warning]
如果脱离供料就文论文,本文写得还是不错的,其中心明确,语言简练;文中既有历史人物荆轲这个“点”,又有雪灾、地震中勇于奉献、牺牲的人们这个“面”;结尾段的概括,还充盈着一股饱满的气势。
If the paper is written without any materials, it is well written, with a clear center and concise language. There are not only historical figures Jing Ke, but also people who are brave to sacrifice in the snow disaster and earthquake. The summary of the end section is also full of a full momentum.
但是,衡量一篇考场作文优劣的前提和基础,理应是看它是否符合题意。本文的切入点为“这个时刻,是一只柔弱却又无比坚强的小海龟站了出来,肩负着整个种群的希望与使命……”而作文材料中的表述却是“原来,先出来的那只幼龟是个‘侦察兵’,一旦遇到危险,它便缩回去”,这里的“缩回去”,明确无误地表示着幼龟并不需要冒什么风险(也就是说,《每当存亡的时刻》一文立意的出发点,是有违材料含意的)。因此,该文只能判为不及格。
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