2. “You’re wrong”
“你错了”
What they hear: “You are stupid. You know nothing. You’re worthless.”
他们听到的是:“你是个笨蛋,你知道什么啊,你简直一文不值”。
Prefer more tactful sentences. “I would have thought that…”, “My understanding is that…” Ask questions to make sure you and the other person are working on the same assumptions.
不如换成更加隐晦的句子:“我早就应该想到...” “我的理解是...” 问问题能保证你和其他人在商榷同一个假设。
3. “You can’t do it”
“你做不到的”
What they hear: “You don’t have what it takes to do it, no matter how hard you try; So why do you even try?”
他们听到的是:“无论你多努力,都没有能力做到,那干嘛还要去尝试呢?”
Why would you set someone up for failure? I understand that you don’t want your friend to have delusions, and you could feel that it is your duty to stop that person before they hurt themselves, but I would like to ask you: how can you judge what is good for somebody? And what if failure was the best path for growth? Encourage people who have chosen a challenging path.
为什么总把别人和失败绑在一起?我懂你其实不希望你朋友产生幻觉,你觉得阻止他们是你的责任,可以使他们免于受伤,但我还是想问问你:你凭什么替别人去判断事物的好坏?失败难道不是成长最好的途径吗?对那些走在充满挑战道路上的人一丝鼓励吧。
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