2. “You’re wrong”

“你错了”

What they hear: “You are stupid. You know nothing. You’re worthless.”

他们听到的是：“你是个笨蛋，你知道什么啊，你简直一文不值”。

Prefer more tactful sentences. “I would have thought that…”, “My understanding is that…” Ask questions to make sure you and the other person are working on the same assumptions.

不如换成更加隐晦的句子：“我早就应该想到...” “我的理解是...” 问问题能保证你和其他人在商榷同一个假设。

3. “You can’t do it”

“你做不到的”

What they hear: “You don’t have what it takes to do it, no matter how hard you try; So why do you even try?”

他们听到的是：“无论你多努力，都没有能力做到，那干嘛还要去尝试呢？”

Why would you set someone up for failure? I understand that you don’t want your friend to have delusions, and you could feel that it is your duty to stop that person before they hurt themselves, but I would like to ask you: how can you judge what is good for somebody? And what if failure was the best path for growth? Encourage people who have chosen a challenging path.

为什么总把别人和失败绑在一起？我懂你其实不希望你朋友产生幻觉，你觉得阻止他们是你的责任，可以使他们免于受伤，但我还是想问问你：你凭什么替别人去判断事物的好坏？失败难道不是成长最好的途径吗？对那些走在充满挑战道路上的人一丝鼓励吧。

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