If you don't believe that it pays to think before you speak, let me show you what a difference the right language tweakcan make。
如果你不相信三思而后言的说法,那就让我来告诉你“说对话”和“说错话”的区别有多大。
You know the difference between "I need more help around the house" and "You're so lazy," right? One is artful diplomacythe other, like bringing in the tanks. But the strategy involved in getting your point across also applies to individual words. For instance, if you're.。。
“我需要你帮忙收拾下屋子”和“你真是懒死了”,这两句话的区别你总能分辨得出来吧?前者是带有艺术感的外交辞令,后者则是挑起骂战的说法。不过,把话说到点子上的策略可以具体到每个用词上,比如:
...Offering constructive criticism
想要提供建设性意见
Instead of: "You did a nice job, but the report needs to be finished."
与其说:“你做得不错,但是记得把报告做完。”
Try: "You did a nice job, and the report needs to be finished."
不如说:“你做得不错,也请记得把报告做完。”
The subtext: No matter how positive the first part of the statement, the “but” negatesit. “But” might as well stand for “Beholdthe Underlying Truth”. Once people hear it, they're just waiting for the bad news。
潜台词:无论首句表达的意思多么积极,只要用了“但是”就否定了一切。一旦说话中出现了“但是”,就表示“注意说话人的话中话”。因此,一旦人们听到了“但是”,他们就会等着听后面的坏消息了。
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