So, the question is, why was I blocking it? Why were other people blocking it? Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare, I need size six shoes," but I won't say, "Would you praise me this way?" And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me. I'm telling you where I'm insecure. I'm telling you where I need your help. And I'm treating you, my inner circle, like you're the enemy. Because what can you do with that data? You could neglect me. You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet my need.
因此我的问题是,为什么我不说呢? 为什么其它人不说呢? 为什么我能说:“我要一块中等厚度的牛排, 我需要6号尺寸的鞋子,” 但我却不能说:“你可以赞扬我吗?” 因为这会使我把我的重要信息与你分享,会让我告诉了你我内心的不安,会让你认为我需要你的帮助。 虽然你是我最贴心的人, 我却把你当作是敌人。 你会用我托付给你的重要信息做些什么呢? 你可以忽视我。 你可以滥用它。 或者你可以满足我的要求。
And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this -- same bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels. The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels, it's going to make the bike so much better." I get the same bike back, and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new. So, I'm going to challenge all of you. I want you to true your wheels: be honest about the praise that you need to hear. What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife -- go ask her, what does she need? Go home to your husband -- what does he need? Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.
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