本段的主题句是段首句,controlling idea是take the long trip across the country。文中出现两个irrelevant sentences,一个是Bella bakes the best rhubarb pie,这 一段是讲的是Joe and I ,中间出现一个Bella是不合适的。还有,Joe received a watch at his retirement dinner这一句更是与主题句不相关。考生在四级统考的作文卷上常常因为造出 irrelevant sentences而丢分,值得引起注意。再看一个例子:
My name is Roseanna, and I like to keep physically fit. I used to weigh two hundred pounds, but I joined the YMCA for an exercise class and diet program. In one year I lost eighty pounds. I feel much better and never want to have that much weight on my five-feet frame again. I bought two new suitcases last week. Everyday I practice jogging three miles, swimming fifteen laps, lifting twenty-pound weights and playing tennis for one hour. My mother was a premature baby.
本段的controlling idea 是like to deep physically fit,但段中有两个irrelevant sentences,一个是I bought two new suitcases last week,另一个是My mother was a premature baby。
从上面两个例子可以看出,native speakers同样会造出来irrelevant sentences。卷面上如果这种句子多了,造成偏题或离题,那问题就更严重了。
2. 完整性
正象我们前面说得那样,一个段落的主题思想靠推展句来实现,如果只有主题句而没有推展句来进一步交待和充实,就不能构成一个完整的段落。同样,虽然有推展句,但主题思想没有得到相对圆满的交待,给读者一种意犹未尽的感觉。这样的段落也不能完成其交际功能。例如:
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