2 观点说写信对人好，很明显，太笼统，没有针对性。

　　修改：Letters can keep our writing skills fresh。

　　3 拼写错误。

　　4 论证的整体思路还是不错的，只是语言表达还是不够清晰。

　　修改：When writing a real letter, people tend to weigh their words carefully by focusing on the punctuation, spelling and note of words. Moreover, they place great emphasis on the organization, appropriateness and register of a letter. Unfortunately, on the contrary, ordinary people incline to think of phones, together with emails, as an oral means of information transmission, hardly using writing skills when having calls or writing emails. That is the reason why dialogs through the phone or on-line emails are packed with countless mistakes。

　　Last but not least, 1emperical evidence abounds 2that many serious 3illness such as allergy can be linked to the 4radication of mobile phones and computers。

　　点评：

　　1 没有这个单词。

　　2 that引导同位语从句，写的不错的。

　　3 illness是疾病的统称，一般是不可数名词， 可以换成diseases。同时many这个词一般用于否定表示很多，建议换成a host of, a great many等等。

　　4 这一段是写信的优点，所以建议观点围绕letter开展。

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