By this matter, I have understood that I also could help people. (概括能力需要加强:I have learned from the accident that everyone has the ability to help others if one tries to do so.)
晓伟点评:
总体写的不错,说一下急需改进的地方:
1.几个简单句意思表达比较零散,不如用复合句紧凑。
2.两个简单句不能用逗号,连接。
3.语法错误:时态前后不一致。
4.文章主题的概括能力有待加强。
查看原帖:http://bbs.eduu.com/thread-155729-1-2.html
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