( 1 )此处为固定用法的请柬 the invitation to
( 2 ) for one day 一段时间,而 receive 是非延续性动词,此句应改为: I received your invitation yesterday 或者改为 I have had your invitation for one day.
( 3 )修饰 money 应用 a lot of 或 a large sum of money (一大笔钱)。
( 4 ) so as to 其中 to 为动词不定式符号,此句应改为 so as to collect more money .
( 5 )此外缺少了连接词 and .补上 and 才能使上下句连贯,行文流畅。
( 6 ) hold 在句中作定语,应用过去分词 held 表被动意义。
( 7 )在( 5 )( 6 )之间缺少要点 accept your invitation.
( 8 ) May the concert succeed 表祝愿, may 后接动词原形。
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