语言修改
Invention is the result of a creative process, and those inventions or discoveries are often examples taught in todays class. Take electric bulb as an example, the inventor, Edison, created many things we are using today. He conducted over 3,000 experiments before he found the correct material to create light and did not melt at high temperatures. During those 3,000 experiments he imagined using many things including iron, bamboo, and even his colleagues red beard. His patience and curiosity together with imagination and fantasy helped him to successfully invent the light bulb that we still use to this day.
本段评点
这一段用了爱迪生发明灯泡的例子。这个例子用在这里虽然没有什么错误,但是从中学作文,到大学四六级作文,到考研,到托福和GRE作文,不论是什么题目,中国学生都喜欢使用这个例子。这样给老外一个印象,中国学生知道的事情实在太少。这个例子里面还有个小错误,那就是爱迪生发明的不是电,而是电灯。
第三段
Not only scientists need creativity but also artists need it. The well known artist von Gothe used to say that: theres nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste. By that he emphasized the significance of taste. However, as matter of fact, in his renowned painting about stars at night, he portrayed a world full of imagination, for instance the star under his pen is just like a whirlpool that gives us infinite fantasy about space and universe.
【SAT写作范文点评之Fantasy and Imagination】相关文章:
★ SAT写作:为你的论文写出一段简介(introduction)
★ SAT写作范例:Is Business Undergraduate Major justified?
★ SAT写作范文点评之Fantasy and Imagination
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2016-06-14
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