我们日常会做的十大怪事的科学解释(下)_美文

我们日常会做的十大怪事的科学解释(下)

3.Gossiping 3.八卦

Women usually get pegged as the biggest gossips out of the two sexes, but men are guilty of this social offense as well. At least one study says men gossip 32 percent more than women per day. No matter which sex has the biggest blabbermouths, hurtful gossip can come back to bite us, yet it seems we cant help ourselves when it comes to dishing a little dirt. 女性通常是被认为两性之间最爱八卦的人，但男性同样需要对这种社会冒犯承担责任。至少有一项调查的结果显示，男性每天比女性多八卦32%。不管哪种性别的人最擅长于嚼舌根，但这些伤人的八卦总能使人伤心。而且，这些八卦对我们自己来说也没有任何益处。 The reason for this is that most of us have an inherent desire to bond with those immediately around us—an urge that can overpower any moral obligations we might feel to mind our own business. We want to form social connections to people in our vicinity, and gossiping not only gives us something to talk about, it immediately creates a sense of trust, since the act of gossiping signals that were letting the other person in our confidence. In turn, the other person shares secrets, and a rapport is established. As we all know, it also gives us a feeling of superiority, is good for a laugh, and spices up boring situations. Curiously, gossiping about peoples successes (if there is such a thing) doesnt have the same effect. Studies show that connecting over shared dislikes creates stronger bonds than discussing shared positives.Although gossiping means were throwing someone else under the bus for the sake of an immediate relationship or gratification, it might not be an entirely bad thing. Anthropologist Robin Dunbar says that gossip partly drove the evolutionary development of our brains. He argues that language first developed out of our desire to share gossip, and it enables us to talk about those who arent present while indirectly teaching others how to properly relate to the group.About 60 percent of conversations between adults are about someone whos not present. Thus, theres no need to be paranoid that your friends are talking about you when youre not around, as its almost certainly a fact. 八卦源于我们大多数人都有与周围的人建立联系的内在渴望——一种迫使我们去在意有关的自身道德义务的冲动。我们都希望与身边人建立起良好的社会关系，闲聊不仅能给我们的谈话带来一定的谈资，它还能立即创造一种信任感。八卦一旦开始，这就意味着我们之间存在相互的信任。奇怪的是，八卦别人的成功（如果那个人的确成功的话）却没有同样的影响。研究表明，共同讨论不喜欢的事物比讨论喜欢的事物更容易增进人与人之间的关系。虽然八卦意味着为了促进关系和暂时的快乐而对某个人落井下石，但它也不完全是一件坏事。人类学家罗宾·邓巴表示，八卦对我们大脑的进化发展起到了一定的促进作用。他提出语言最开始的发展源于人类分享八卦的渴望，这种渴望使我们去八卦那些不在场的人。大约60%的成年人之间的对话是关于某人不在场的八卦。因此，没有必要偏执的认为你的朋友趁你不在的时候疯狂的八卦你，这几乎是一个肯定的事实了。