[2]. rationalize: 为……找借口;bullet: 子弹;dictate: 指示。
[3]. in tandem fashion: 以一前一后的方式。
[4]. internalize: 使内在化。
[5]. on the home front: 在国内;wrestle with: 设法解决;inculcate: 灌输,谆谆教诲。
[6]. drown: 淹没。
[7]. episode: 插曲;impassively: 无动于衷地。
[8]. hush-hush: 极秘密的。
[9]. befall: 降临于,发生到……身上。
more civilized way of fighting to address my grievances[1]. Communicating with words instead of using force is a skill that I wanted to enhance. Although I had some early successes in district and state competitions, I knew that there were more skills to be learned in the communications field. Thus, I continued fighting to reach the national finals in speech competition. Later, as university professor on various campuses I have been able to coach[2] other student winners who happened to be black and white.
Our early elementary school teachers inspired in us the dream of even becoming the president of the United States. I held on to this dream for years, before realizing that first, I was not “pure” anduntainted[3] enough. I did not have a life without blemishes[4]. At that time I had at least one failed marriage. Second, later the realities of life clearly demonstrated that my life had not beentainted enough. I would never be in the mainstream on the road to governmental leadership, nor was this goal now even desirable. For the past twelve years or so, I have been a simple world traveler and retired teacher, who does not want to become just another meaningless statistic. Nor do I want to be a destructive torch-bearer[5] seeking to burn things down. While some of my brothers have been incarcerated[6], I have not lost faith in positively affecting change. Yet, my continued small contribution to the cultural milieu[7] seems minimal. I still write hoping to access more networks to build bridges of understanding. I have not given up on the idea to open or create cultural channels for communications between groups in conflict with each other. This childhood dream lives on.
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