1. 这篇习作的内容充实,较为全面地论述了写作任务中所要求的要点;篇章布局较为合理,作者在论述的过程中思路较为清晰,注意到了连接词的运用,行文较为流畅自然。
2. 文章存在的主要问题:
①文章整体结构上不够连贯畅通,段与段之间缺乏必要的过渡句。例如第一段最后应加上一句话来承上启下。
②文中有些句子指代不明,读来让人感觉有些突兀。如第二段中"I think we should form a good habit. Thus, we can keep everything in order."这句话的意思就不够明确。
③文中还有些地方出现了时态不一致、主谓不一致的问题。如第一段中"Many of us cannot take such a heavy burden and became depressed, which lead to an inefficient study."这句话中,同时并列使用了"cannot"和"became", "became"应改为"become",而"lead"应改为"leads"。
成稿:
With the increasing competition, young students today are under more and more pressure from study and examinations. Many of us have trouble dealing with such heavy burdens and we end up becoming quite depressed, which can lead to a low efficiency in studying. Then, what should we do to stay happy and to study more
efficiently? In my opinion it is necessary for us to find a good way to relax, which can help us maintain an optimistic attitude towards our lives and our studies. Here are some suggestions of how to do this. First, I think we should do more sports. When I feel depressed, I often go running, which can keep me feeling energetic and help put me in a good mood. Secondly, I think we can turn to our friends, who may help us out of our trouble. Thirdly, we should make a good schedule for studying and relaxing. This will help us know exactly when to study and when to relax. In conclusion, I think if we try to find some good ways to keep a positive outlook on life, we can lead a busy and happy school life.
【湖南省长沙县实验中学2016届高三英语二轮复习书面表达复习重点话题指导专题08 健康饮食话题指导(教师版)】相关文章:
★ 天津市武清区杨村第四中学2016届高考英语一轮复习语法专题二《倒装句专练》课件外研版
★ 2017届高考英语二轮复习书面表达限时测验:6(含解析)
★ 【课堂新坐标】2017届高考英语(通用版)二轮复习书面表达专题训练:Ⅱ卷强化增分练 训练4(含解析)
★ 天津市武清区杨村第四中学2016届高考英语一轮复习语法专题十三《名词性从句》课件外研版
★ 【课堂新坐标】2017届高考英语(通用版)二轮复习书面表达专题训练:训练6 议论文+记叙文(含解析)
★ 2017年高考英语二轮复习精品资料:专题15 完形填空(教学案)(原卷版)
★ 湖南省长沙县实验中学2016届高三英语二轮复习书面表达复习重点话题指导专题07 建议申请话题指导(教师版)
★ 天津市武清区杨村第四中学2016届高考英语一轮复习语法专题三《其他特殊句型》课件外研版
★ 【课堂新坐标】2017届高考英语(通用版)二轮复习书面表达专题训练:技法2 引人入胜的开篇语(含解析)
★ 天津市武清区杨村第四中学2016届高考英语一轮复习语法专题八《情态动词用法详解》课件外研版
最新
2017-04-24
2017-04-24
2017-04-24
2017-04-24
2017-04-21
2017-04-21