这个理论是50多年前英国心理学家约翰·巴比(British Bowlby)设想出来的,美国发展心理学家玛丽·S·安斯沃思(Mary S. Ainsworth)以科学方法对其进行了验证。依恋理论现在获得了前所未有的普及,从老城区的幼儿园到企管培训课程,很多地方都运用在这个理论。其基本假设是,我们的早期依恋的质量深刻影响了我们的成年阶段。心理学、神经科学、社会学和教育领域的专家说,如今人们似乎更依恋智能手机而不是依恋彼此,依恋理论的基本假设在这个时代存在一种特别的反响。
By the end of our first year, we have stamped on our baby brains a pretty indelible template of how we think relationships work, based on how our parents or other primary caregivers treat us. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense, because we need to figure out early on how to survive in our immediate environment.
婴儿一周岁的时候,大脑中就已经形成了一个几乎不可磨灭的对关系的思考模式,父母或其他看护者对待婴儿的方式塑造了这个思考模式。从进化的角度来看,这是有道理的,因为婴儿需要早点弄清楚如何在当前的环境中生存下去。
“If you’re securely attached, that’s great, because you have the expectation that if you are distressed you will be able to turn to someone for help and feel you can be there for others,” said Miriam Steele, the co-director of the Center for Attachment Research at the New School for Social Research in New York.
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