Yes, It’s Your Parents’ Fault
缺乏安全感吗?这真的要怪你父母
We live in a culture that celebrates individualism and self-reliance, and yet we humans are an exquisitely social species, thriving in good company and suffering in isolation. More than anything else, our intimate relationships, or lack thereof, shape and define our lives.
我们的文化赞美个人主义和自力更生,但人类是一种敏感的群居物种,相处良好的关系让人精神抖擞,孤独的人则感到痛苦。有没有亲密的人际关系,对于塑造和定义我们生活具有非同一般的作用。
While there have been many schools of thought to help us understand what strains and maintains human bonds, from Freudian to Gestalt, one of the most rigorously studied may be the least known to the public.
从佛洛伊德到格式塔,有很多学派在帮助我们了解维系人际关系,导致关系紧张的因素,但有一种理论对这方面进行了最为细致的研究,却有可能是最不为人所知的一个。
It’s called attachment theory, and there’s growing consensus about its capacity to explain and improve how we function in relationships.
它就是依恋理论,人们对其解释和改进人际关系的能力正产生越来越多的共识。
Conceived more than 50 years ago by the British psychoanalyst John Bowlby and scientifically validated by an American developmental psychologist, Mary S. Ainsworth, attachment theory is now having a breakout moment, applied everywhere from inner-city preschools to executive coaching programs. Experts in the fields of psychology, neuroscience, sociology and education say the theory’s underlying assumption — that the quality of our early attachments profoundly influences how we behave as adults — has special resonance in an era when people seem more attached to their smartphones than to one another.
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