00:00:02,730　　佩妮　　好啊　　Penny, hello.　　2　　00:00:02,740 --> 00:00:03,790　　谢尔顿　　Hey, sheldon.　　3　　00:00:03,820 --> 00:00:05,550　　你咋样啊　　What is shaking?　　4　　00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:09,580　　什么　　I'm sorry?　　5　　00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:13,460　　这是口头语嘛　　开场白　　It's colloquial, a conversation opener.　　6　　00:00:13,710 --> 00:00:15,940　　你觉得今天天气好吗　　So, do you find the weather satisfying?　　7　　00:00:16,260 --> 00:00:17,760　　我们本地的球队赢球了　　Are you currently sharing in the triumph　　8　　00:00:17,770 --> 00:00:19,580　　你是否为之一振　　of some local sports team?　　9　　00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,210　　你搞什么名堂　　吓到我了　　What's wrong with you? you're freaking me out.　　10　　00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:26,570　　我在跟你闲聊啊　　I'm striking up a casual conversation with you.　　11　　00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:28,130　　咋样　　S'up?　　12　　00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,880　　我求你别再说了　　Please don't do that.　　13　　00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:35,960　　好吧　　All right,　　14　　00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:37,280　　不过我觉得如果你要和某人　　But I'm given to understand that　　15　　00:00:37,290 --> 00:00:38,600　　谈一个很尴尬的问题之前　　when you have something awkward to discuss with someone,　　16　　00:00:38,610 --> 00:00:41,990　　最好跟他说几句不搭界的闲话　　it's more palatable to preface it with banal chit chat.　　17　　00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:46,090　　就是说刚才那还不算尴尬事了?　　So, this wasn't the awkward part?　　18　　00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:49,550　　不算　　No.　　19　　00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:54,270　　那好吧　　Oh, all right.　　20　　00:00:54,580 --> 00:00:55,820　　咋了　　S'up?　　21　　00:00:57,810 --> 00:00:59,610　　太好了　　我说对了　　Oh, good, I used that right.　　22　　00:01:00,650 --> 00:01:03,510　　说正事吧 你应该已经注意到了　　莱纳德最近　　Anyway, you're aware that leonard has entered into a new　　23　　00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,870　　和一个女人发生了一段带有性关系的感情　　Romantic relationship which includes a sexual component?　　24　　00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:12,390　　现在我能感到尴尬了　　Okay, feeling the awkward now.　　25　　00:01:13,970 --> 00:01:16,500　　她的名字是 斯蒂芬妮·巴内特医生　　Her name is dr.Stephanie barnett and she is a highly　　26　　00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,210　　她是弗里蒙特纪念医院一名杰出的外科医生　　Distinguished surgical resident at freemont memorial.　　27　　00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:20,630　　-莱纳德告诉过我了　　-很好　　Yeah, leonard told me. good.　　28　　00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,420　　但他可能没告诉你　　What he may have left out is　　29　　00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,520　　这段感情对我来说非常重要　　how important this relationship is to me.　　30　　00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:27,770　　对你　　To you?　　31　　00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:31,420　　是的　　在那些为数不多的和莱纳德约会过的女人中　　Yes, see, of the handful of women leonard's been involved with,　　32　　00:01:31,430 --> 00:01:34,130　　只有她还算像个人　　She's the only one I have ever found tolerable.　　33　　00:01:39,660 --> 00:01:41,270　　那我呢　　Well, what about me?　　34　　00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:44,150　　这应该是不言自明的　　The statement stands for itself.　　35　　00:01:46,630 --> 00:01:47,920　　你嘴好甜　　Well, aren't you sweet?　　36　　00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:50,440　　而且你应该多和她接触一下　　Anyway, should you have any interaction with her,　　37　　00:01:50,450 --> 00:01:54,230　　好让她别感觉到你是她的性竞争对手　　It would be most helpful that she not see you as a sexual rival.　　38　　00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:58,310　　我看她没什么好担心的　　Yeah, I think she's pretty safe.　　39　　00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:00,970　　你现在是这么说　　但看看这样的情况　　You say that now, but consider the following senario　　40　　00:02:00,980 --> 00:02:03,130　　漆黑的晚上　　you're sitting in your apartment,　　41　　00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:04,810　　你孤身一人坐在家里　　It's late, you're alone.　　42　　00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:08,460　　你的下丘脑里正游走着雌激素　　Your hypothalamus is swimming in a soup of estrogen and　　43　　00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:10,480　　和孕激素　　这时突然在你眼里　　Progesterone and suddenly even　　44　　00:02:10,490 --> 00:02:13,890　　就算莱纳德也会是一名有生育能力的性对象　　Leonard seems like a viable sexual candidate.　　45　　00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:17,330　　或者说　　配对　　Or a, uh, "hookup"　　46　　00:02:17,340 --> 00:02:19,650　　现在的都市青年好像都这么说的　　As it's referred to by today's urban youth.　　47　　00:02:20,260 --> 00:02:21,540　　-真的吗　　-是的　　Really? yes.　　48　　00:02:21,550 --> 00:02:22,730　　如果万一发生这种情况　　Now, should that happen,　　49　　00:02:22,740 --> 00:02:26,110　　我要求你找到一种压制自己性冲动的办法　　I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.　　50　　00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,400　　只需要想你就可以了　　I could think about you.　　51　　00:02:34,470 --> 00:02:36,290　　好　　只要管用就行　　Fine, whatever works.　　52　　00:02:38,210 --> 00:02:40,030　　和你交谈总是很愉快　　谢尔顿　　Always nice talking to you, sheldon.　　53　　00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,990　　再见[谢尔顿在刻意模仿黑人俚语]　　Uh, peace out!　　54　　00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,050　　今晚多么美好啊　　Well, this is very pleasant.　　55　　00:03:21,370 --> 00:03:23,470　　很高兴你喜欢　　Glad you're enjoying yourself.　　56　　00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,530　　你还说通心粉三个人吃不够呢　　And you said there'd never be enough pasta for the three of us.　　57　　00:03:27,370 --> 00:03:28,970　　我错了　　I stand corrected.　　58　　00:03:28,980 --> 00:03:31,810　　你们知道么　　意大利的家庭主妇都有这样一种经验　　You know, italian housewives have a rule of thumb.　　59　　00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,810　　只要抓一把直径为一英寸的通心粉放在锅里烧　　A handful of dry pasta about an inch in diameter is　　60　　00:03:34,820 --> 00:03:38,900　　就足够所有人吃的了　　因为它在加热之后会膨胀一倍　　Sufficient for each person as it doubles in volume when cooked.　　61　　00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,170　　非常有趣　　That's very interesting.　　62　　00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:41,840　　谢谢　　Thank you.　　63　　00:03:41,850 --> 00:03:44,070　　她不是真觉得有趣　　只是礼节罢了　　She doesn't mean it. she's just being nice.　　64　　00:03:46,170 --> 00:03:47,000　　斯蒂芬妮　　Well, stephanie,　　65　　00:03:47,010 --> 00:03:50,350　　既然莱纳德现在不想谈话　　Since leonard seems to be dropping the conversational ball,　　66　　00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,920　　那么就由我来顶替他　　I guess I'll just have to pick it up.　　67　　00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:02,900　　你有没有现场目击过凶杀　　Have you ever witnessed a violent crime?　　68　　00:04:05,630 --> 00:04:07,310　　-没　　-好的　　No. good.　　69　　00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,020　　你最喜欢什么水果　　What's your favorite fruit?　　70　　00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:11,790　　草莓　　Uh, strawberries.　　71　　00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,230　　严格来说不算水果　　不过也不追究了　　Hmm, technically not a fruit, but all right.　　72　　00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,290　　你的医学实习是在哪儿做的　　Where did you do your medical internship?　　73　　00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,610　　劳伦斯纪念医院　　在德州的加尔维斯敦　　Uh, lawrence memorial in galveston, texas.　　74　　00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:23,130　　真的吗　　我就是在那儿出生的　　Really? that's where I was born!　　75　　00:04:25,370 --> 00:04:26,590　　不是吧　　You're kidding!　　76　　00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,160　　在那所医院里　　我度过了不少童年时光　　I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital.　　77　　00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:32,630　　我十二岁的时候还坐直升机去哪儿呢　　When I was 12, I got to ride there in a helicopter.　　78　　00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:34,760　　怎么了啊　　Why, w-w-what happened?　　79　　00:04:34,770 --> 00:04:36,280　　辐射烧伤　　Radiation burns.　　80　　00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,910　　我在造X射线轴向分层造影扫描机的时候发生了一点小意外　　A little mishap while I was building my own cat scanner.　　81　　00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:43,430　　你居然尝试自己造一个X射线轴向分层造影扫描机?　　I'm sorry, you tried to build your own cat scanner?　　82　　00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,410　　我不是尝试　　我是成功了　　No, I didn't try, I succeeded.　　83　　00:04:45,930 --> 00:04:47,360　　而且我还用它观察了　　In fact, I was briefly able to see　　84　　00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,800　　我姐姐的小豚鼠　　雪球的内脏　　the inside of my sister's guinea pig,　　85　　00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:50,490　　然后他就烧起来了　　Snowball, before he caught fire.　　86　　00:04:52,340 --> 00:04:54,470　　所以我们家很流行一句话　　It led to an interesting　　87　　00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,930　　豚鼠躲不过扫描机　　"not a snowball's chance in a cat scanner."　　88　　00:04:59,110 --> 00:05:00,680　　谢尔顿　　Uh, sheldon?　　89　　00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:03,280　　我离开一下　　Excuse me.　　90　　00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:05,460　　我回来之后　　为了好玩　　When I come back,just for fun,　　91　　00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:07,200　　我们来聊聊架空历史　　the subject will be alternative history.　　92　　00:05:07,210 --> 00:05:07,800　　主题是　　Specifically,　　93　　00:05:07,810 --> 00:05:10,130　　如果林肯是来自于未来的机器人　　How would the civil war have gone differently　　94　　00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:13,030　　那么南北战争的局势将会如何不同　　If lincoln had been a robot sent from the future?　　95　　00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,220　　看啊　　通心粉我们都吃不掉呢　　Look at that, there's even pasta left over.　　96　　00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:24,380　　你到底知不知道这是一次约会　　Do you understand that this was supposed to be a date?　　97　　00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:24,620　　明白啊　　I do.　　98　　00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:26,830　　你明白么　　老实说　　Do you? because frankly,　　99　　00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:29,350　　自打我坐下后你就呆若木鸡　　you've been in a foul mood since I sat down.　　100　　00:05:32,740 --> 00:05:36,840　　好吧　　那我的问题是　　你为什么要坐下　　Okay, here's my question. why did you sit down?　　101　　00:05:37,650 --> 00:05:38,800　　帮你呀　　To help.　　102　　00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:40,920　　如果你这次又失手了　　Look, if you fail at this relationship,　　103　　00:05:40,930 --> 00:05:43,050　　历史证明你会的　　and history suggests you will,　　104　　00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:45,520　　那么我们的先头登陆部队所需的　　Then we risk losing the medical officer　　105　　00:05:45,530 --> 00:05:48,490　　军医很可能就没了　　That our landing party has always needed.　　106　　00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,820　　什么先头登陆部队　　What landing party?　　107　　00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:56,890　　你是寇克　　我是史波克　　沃罗威茨是史考特　　You're kirk, I'm spock, wolowitz is scotty,　　108　　00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:59,730　　库萨帕里是那个总是被杀的　　Koothrappali is the guy who always gets killed...　　109　　00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,500　　现在我们有了麦考伊[《星际迷航》里的人物]　　And now we've got mccoy.　　110　　00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:12,420　　所以　　So,　　111　　00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:14,280　　我们都站在那看着术后X光片　　We're all standing around looking at the post-op x ray　　112　　00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,150　　然后就是那个　　and there it is,　　113　　00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,120　　众目睽睽之下　　就在那人的胸腔里　　Clear as day, right in the guy's chest cavity...　　114　　00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:21,020　　有我一只耳环　　One of my earrings.　　115　　00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,710　　天呐　　那你怎么办　　Oh, my god, what did you do?　　116　　00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,810　　你觉得我还能怎么办　　What do you think I did?　　117　　00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,620　　我偷偷把另一只耳环给摘了　　I discreetly slipped off the other earring,　　118　　00:06:28,630 --> 00:06:31,400　　放在兜里逃离现场　　Put it in my pocket and then got the hell out of there!　　119　　00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,350　　捉迷藏的奖品捏　　I have a bone to pick with you, sir.　　120　　00:06:36,850 --> 00:06:37,640　　嗨　　谢尔顿　　Hi, sheldon.　　121　　00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:38,300　　嗨　　斯蒂芬妮　　Hi, stephanie.　　122　　00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:39,240　　不好意思我迟到了　　I'm sorry I'm late,　　123　　00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:42,650　　但是你的同伴给我的邀请太难破译了　　But yourompanion left the most indecipherable invitation.　　124　　00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,270　　什么邀请　　What invitation?　　125　　00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,630　　"我们去看电影了"　　"we're going to the movies."　　126　　00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:51,450　　啥电影　　啥影院　　啥时候　　What movie? what theater? what time?　　127　　00:06:53,150 --> 00:06:55,270　　如果你想要我追踪不到你　　If you were trying to make it impossible to locate you,　　128　　00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,080　　那你干得真是再好不过了　　You couldn't have done a better job.　　129　　00:06:57,340 --> 00:06:59,210　　明显我可以的　　Oh, clearly I could have.　　130　　00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:03,080　　我花了将近20分钟才从你电脑的网页　　It took me nearly 20 minutes to go through the browser　　131　　00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,950　　浏览记录里查到你搜索过的电影时刻表　　History on your computer to see what movie times you looked up.　　132　　00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:08,650　　在这等我　　我给咱们找个座　　Wait here, I'll find us seats.　　133　　00:07:08,660 --> 00:07:09,970　　不用　　我们有位子　　Uh, no, we have seats.　　134　　00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:11,840　　不是正确的位子　　Not the right seats.　　135　　00:07:22,630 --> 00:07:23,790　　他干嘛呢　　What is he doing?　　136　　00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,720　　他在找听觉最优点　　He's finding the acoustic sweet spot.　　137　　00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,120　　他一直都这样吗　　Does he always do this?　　138　　00:07:32,130 --> 00:07:35,440　　有时他也会带给玩具木琴　　Sometimes he brings a toy xylophone.　　139　　00:07:42,330 --> 00:07:44,610　　真是太抱歉了　　I am really sorry about this.　　140　　00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:47,420　　不会　　还好啦　　他挺可爱的　　No, it's fine. you know, he's sweet.　　141　　00: 07:54,950 --> 00:07:57,550　　不好意思　　你们一直都坐对了地方　　My apologies, you've been sitting in it all along.　　142　　00:07:58,170 --> 00:07:59,550　　莱纳德　　你们能往里错一个位子吗　　Leonard, you want to slide over one?　　143　　00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,080　　不能　　您就坐这吧　　No, just sit here.　　144　　00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,050　　好极了　　就是这感觉　　Oh, yeah, this is it.　　145　　00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,060　　莱纳德　　Leonard.　　146　　00:08:23,220 --> 00:08:25,600　　莱纳德　　莱纳德　　Leonard? leonard?!　　147　　00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:26,980　　咋啦　　谢尔顿　　What, sheldon?　　148　　00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:29,360　　咋啦　　谢尔顿　　咋啦　　谢尔顿　　What, sheldon?! what, sheldon?!　　149　　00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,680　　告诉我你在这看到什么　　Tell me what you see here.　　150　　00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:35,150　　这个钝器能用来杀人吗　　The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?　　151　　00:08:36,070 --> 00:08:37,970　　这是斯蒂芬妮的facebook网页　　This is stephanie's facebook page.　　152　　00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:41,110　　你看　　本来应该是"交往中"的　　她写的是什么　　Now, where it should say "in a relationship," what does it say?　　153　　00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,930　　"斯蒂芬妮　　巴奈特单身"　　"stephanie barnett is single."　　154　　00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,860　　而且早些时候　　Yeah, furthermore, earlier this evening,　　155　　00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:47,700　　她送了一只电子羊给一个叫麦克的人　　She threw a digital sheep at some guy named mike.　　156　　00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:51,330　　谁是麦克　　Who's mike?!　　157　　00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:53,410　　为什么他得到一只电子羊而不是你　　Why does he get a digital sheep and not you?　　158　　00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:57,670　　这只不过是她的facebook网页罢了　　It's just her facebook page and we've　　159　　00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:58,650　　而且我们只约会过几周　　Only been going out a couple of weeks.　　160　　00:08:58,660 --> 00:08:59,710　　你还不明白么　　You don't see it, do you?　　161　　00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,360　　我们就要失去她了　　We're losing her.　　162　　00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:07,000　　好吧　　我简而言之　　Okay, I'm going to make this very simple for you.　　163　　00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:10,760　　你并不在这场恋爱里面　　You are not in this relationship.　　164　　00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:13,190　　我在　　I am.　　165　　00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,600　　也就是说 你对于我和斯蒂芬妮之间　　Ergo, you have no say in anything　　166　　00:09:16,610 --> 00:09:20,330　　发生的事没有发言权　　that happens between me and stephanie.　　167　　00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:23,720　　恕难从命　　I'm afraid I can't allow that.　　168　　00:09:25,220 --> 00:09:27,240　　根据星际战舰总纲领104第一部分　　Pursuant to starfleet general order 104 section a,　　169　　00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:30,900　　你不是合适的人选　　我替你指挥　　You are deemed unfit and I hereby relieve you of your command.　　170　　00:09:34,170 --> 00:09:37,420　　总纲领104　　第一部分不适用于此情况　　General order 104, section a does not apply in this situation.　　171　　00:09:37,430 --> 00:09:39,030　　给我个好的理由为什么不适用　　Give me one good reason why not.　　172　　00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,010　　因为这不是《星际迷航》　　Because this is not startrek　　173　　00:09:46,810 --> 00:09:47,690　　佩妮　　Penny?　　174　　00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:50,640　　佩妮　　佩妮　　Penny? penny?!　　175　　00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:52,730　　咋啦　　What?　　176　　00:09:53,130 --> 00:09:54,920　　这是香蕉面包　　This is banana bread.　　177　　00:09:57,140 --> 00:09:59,030　　这是门把手　　This is a door knob.　　178　　00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:04,300　　根据我的理解　　主动赠送食物　　It's my understanding that an unsolicited gift of food can　　179　　00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:08,240　　可以作为被邀请进屋聊天的敲门砖　　Be a precursor to an impromptu invitation to come in and chat.　　180　　00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,700　　谢尔顿　　想进来么　　Sheldon, would you like to come in?　　181　　00:10:12,770 --> 00:10:14,820　　那就聊一会吧　　I suppose I could spare a few minutes.　　182　　00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,900　　你被抢劫啦　　Were you robbed?　　183　　00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:24,350　　没　　No.　　184　　00:10:24,930 --> 00:10:26,730　　你怎么会这么肯定　　How can you be sure?　　185　　00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:28,900　　谢尔顿　　你想干嘛　　Sheldon, what do you want?　　186　　00:10:28,910 --> 00:10:31,500　　我知道你并不会惊讶　　I'm certain this will come as no surprise to you,　　187　　00:10:31,510 --> 00:10:34,580　　不过莱纳德又要失恋了　　But leonard is failing in yet another relationship.　　188　　00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:36,010　　他和斯蒂芬妮出问题了吗　　He's having problems with stephanie?　　189　　00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:39,760　　她在网上赠送给随机男性虚拟牲口　　She's sending virtual livestock to random men on the internet.　　190　　00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,120　　我需要数据　　才能保证他们在一起　　If I have any hope of keeping them together, I need data.　　191　　00:10:43,130 --> 00:10:43,720　　特别是　　Specifically,　　192　　00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,990　　我要确切地知道莱纳德做了什么　　I need to know exactly what leonard did that　　193　　00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,980　　让你"性"趣昂然　　Caused you to pop an emotional cap in his buttocks.　　194　　00:10:50,490 --> 00:10:52,810　　什么　　What?　　195　　00:10:52,870 --> 00:10:54,290　　还是　　都市俚语　　Again, urban slang.　　196　　00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:57,350　　我看我用得越来越溜了　　In which, I believe I'm gaining remarkable fluency.　　197　　00:10:58,370 --> 00:11:00,730　　"往下来"和"找低处"[俚语中有口交之意]如何　　So, what is the "down" and the "low"?　　198　　00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:02,950　　别担心　　这完全是保密的　　And don't worry, this is all entirely confidential, so,　　199　　00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:06,020　　你可以自由谈论 其性事的缺陷　　You feel free to include any and all shortcomings in the bedroom.　　200　　00:11:07,870 --> 00:11:09,700　　我们从未上过床　　We never got to the bedroom.　　201　　00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:12,480　　原因是　　Because?　　202　　00:11:14,030 --> 00:11:16,530　　好了　　知道吗　　Oh, okay, all right, you know what?　　203　　00:11:16,750 --> 00:11:18,200　　我告诉你怎么回事　　I'll tell you what happened.　　204　　00:11:19,650 --> 00:11:22,100　　我们当时年少　　十分相爱　　We were young, we were very much in love,　　205　　00:11:22,110 --> 00:11:24,570　　但我们只能通过　　But we could only communicate through a　　206　　00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:27,470　　我湖边屋的时光穿梭邮箱交流[《看不见的恋人》中情节]　　Time-traveling mailbox at my lake house.　　207　　00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:34,050　　你让我看那电影还不够　　It's not enough that you made me watch that movie,　　208　　00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,590　　你还用它嘲笑我　　But now you mock me with it?　　209　　00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:44,280　　绅士们　　我有个关于约会和恋爱的问题　　Gentlemen, I have a question about dating and relationships.　　210　　00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:52,580　　你说你已经和他谈过那个了[暗指性]　　You told me you were going to have the talk with him.　　211　　00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:56,090　　我还等着有人和我谈那个呢　　I've been waiting for someone to have the talk with me.　　212　　00:11:57,090 --> 00:11:57,860　　更重要的是　　More to the point,　　213　　00:11:57,870 --> 00:12:00,930　　想办法让莱纳德和斯蒂芬妮继续交往下去　　It's about finding a way to keep leonard and stephanie together.　　214　　00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:02,200　　我认为你做不到　　Oh, I don't think you can.　　215　　00:12:02,210 --> 00:12:03,430　　为什么不行　　Well, why not?　　216　　00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,820　　看看莱纳德的记录　　Look at leonard's record.　　217　　00:12:04,830 --> 00:12:06,710　　与乔伊斯·金交往二十七天　　27 days with joyce kim.　　218　　00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,030　　然后她逃跑回了朝鲜　　During which she defected to north korea.　　219　　00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:12,730　　与莱斯利·温克尔嘿咻两次　　Two booty calls with leslie winkle.　　220　　00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:15,600　　因此得了个昵称"光速莱纳德"　　For which she awarded him the nickname "speed of light leonard."　　221　　00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,940　　三次与佩妮共进晚餐　　And the three hour dinner with penny.　　222　　00:12:18,950 --> 00:12:20,200　　如他们没坐下来点蛋奶酥的话　　Which would have been two and a half if　　223　　00:12:20,210 --> 00:12:21,970　　就只能算是两次半　　They ordered the souffle when they sat down.　　224　　00:12:23,390 --> 00:12:24,880　　根据几何级数　　Based on the geometric progression,　　225　　00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:26,410　　他和斯蒂芬妮　　His relationship with stephanie　　226　　00:12:26,420 --> 00:12:28,250　　在20分钟后就该完蛋了　　should have ended after 20 minutes.　　227　　00:12:28,690 --> 00:12:30,030　　我懂如何计算　　Yes, I'm aware of the math.　　228　　00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,400　　Y等于27天除以12的商　　Y equals 27 days over 12 to the nth.　　229　　00:12:32,410 --> 00:12:34,370　　问题仍未解决　　The issue remains.　　230　　00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,970　　我们如何能避免他不可避免的失败　　How do we circumvent his inevitable rejection?　　231　　00:12:38,070 --> 00:12:40,390　　如你想确保他在斯蒂芬妮的考虑之列　　Well, if you want to guarantee his appeal to stephanie,　　232　　00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,520　　最有把握的是宰了这星球上所有别的男性　　Your best bet would be to kill all the other men on the planet.　　233　　00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:46,740　　我告诉你什么不该做　　I'll tell you what you shouldn't do.　　234　　00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:48,550　　别怂恿他用那广告上说的　　Don't shpritz him with that body spray from the　　235　　00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,690　　女人闻到就会宽衣解带的香体喷雾　　Commercial where the women undress when they smell it.　　236　　00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:52,010　　一点都没用　　That doesn't work at all.　　237　　00:12:55,910 --> 00:12:58,000　　不管你洒了多少　　No matter how much you put on.　　238　　00:12:59,540 --> 00:13:00,330　　这就是你们的本事　　So, that's all you've got?　　239　　00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:03,300　　天启式的种族灭绝和"别轻信古龙水"　　Apocalyptic genocide and "go easy on the cologne"?　　240　　00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:07,090　　-对啊　　-是的　　Yeah. yes.　　241　　00:13:09,850 --> 00:13:10,870　　佩妮　　Penny.　　242　　00:13:11,230 --> 00:13:12,520　　佩妮　　Penny?　　243　　00:13:12,810 --> 00:13:14,010　　什么事　　What?　　244　　00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:20,450　　佩妮　　Penny?　　245　　00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,500　　西葫芦面包　　Zucchini bread.　　246　　00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,670　　谢谢　　Oh, thank you.　　247　　00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:30,380　　我能进去吗　　May I come in?　　248　　00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:31,100　　不行　　No.　　249　　00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,340　　我懂了　　I see.　　250　　00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:34,080　　显然　　Apparently,　　251　　00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:35,730　　我之前关于　　My earlier inquiry regarding　　252　　00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,690　　你和莱纳德的问题越界了　　you and leonard crossed some sort of line.　　253　　00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,910　　我道歉　　I apologize.　　254　　00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:41,970　　谢谢你　　Well, thank you.　　255　　00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:44,060　　那我们又可以平等交谈了　　So, have you and I returned to a social equilibrium?　　256　　00:13:44,070 --> 00:13:45,500　　-是的　　-很好　　Yes. great.　　257　　00:13:45,510 --> 00:13:46,500　　新的话题　　New topic.　　258　　00:13:46,510 --> 00:13:49,820　　你现在在你月经周期里的哪一天　　Where are you in your menstrual cycle?　　259　　00:13:52,870 --> 00:13:53,730　　什么　　What?!　　260　　00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:55,760　　我在网上做了些调查　　I've been doing some research online,　　261　　00:13:55,770 --> 00:13:57,790　　显然灵长目雌性　　and apparently female primates,　　262　　00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,430　　猿　　黑猩猩　　你们　　You know, uh, apes, chimpanzees, you.　　263　　00:14:01,830 --> 00:14:03,360　　她们觉得她们的配偶　　They find their mate more desirable　　264　　00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:05,270　　被另一个雌性追求时　　更有吸引力　　When he's being courted by another female.　　265　　00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,930　　当竞争的雌性在排卵期　　Now, This effect is intensified when the rival female　　266　　00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:10,820　　分泌激素时　　这种效果更强烈　　Is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation.　　267　　00:14:10,830 --> 00:14:12,350　　这又回到我最初的问题　　Which brings me back to my question.　　268　　00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,320　　你在...　　Where are you in your--　　269　　00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,620　　很显然　　我早来了14天　　Clearly, I'm 14 days too early.　　270　　00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:24,860　　我是说要是能治疗黄热病和疟疾　　All I'm saying is if they can cure yellow fever and malaria,　　271　　00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:28,000　　为何不能治乳糖不耐症　　Why can't they do something about lactose intolerance?　　272　　00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:32,390　　莱纳德　　撒手别想了　　Leonard, you're going to have to let this go.　　273　　00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,370　　你吃点乳酪就放屁　　You had a little cheese dip, you farted.　　274　　00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:35,950　　我觉得很可爱　　I thought it was cute.　　275　　00:14:38,430 --> 00:14:40,060　　斯蒂芬妮　　Oh, hi, stephanie.　　276　　00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,830　　再来点红酒　　Wanna more wine?　　277　　00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,720　　好的　　反正我今晚又不开车去哪　　Yeah, I'm not driving anywhere tonight.　　278　　00:14:58,850 --> 00:15:00,060　　你在干什么　　What are you doing?　　279　　00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:02,180　　我特别想吃白芦笋　　I have a craving for white asparagus　　280　　00:15:02,190 --> 00:15:05,260　　但显然未能如愿　　That apparently is destined to go unsatisfied.　　281　　00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:11,830　　失陪一下　　Excuse me.　　282　　00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:15,930　　你到底怎么了　　What the hell is wrong with you?　　283　　00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:17,150　　我在帮你留住斯蒂芬妮　　I'm helping you with stephanie.　　284　　00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,530　　通过像便秘的驼鹿一样叫唤　　By making constipated moose sounds?　　285　　00:15:20,930 --> 00:15:23,050　　当我没打开这瓶盖　　而你打开了　　When I fail to open this jar and you succeed,　　286　　00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:25,180　　这样你就像个男子汉　　It will establish you as the "alpha" male.　　287　　00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:26,230　　你知道吗　　You see...　　288　　00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:29,260　　当女性看到你在展示力量时　　When a female witnesses an exhibition of physical domination,　　289　　00:15:29,270 --> 00:15:31,050　　她会产生荷尔蒙催产素　　She produces the hormone oxytocin.　　290　　00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:33,100　　之后如果你们俩交往的话　　If the two of you then engage in intercourse,　　291　　00:15:33,110 --> 00:15:35,670　　它会在大脑促生生物化学反应　　This will create the biochemical reaction in the brain　　292　　00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,680　　让人们想当然地以为自己陷入爱河　　Which lay people naively interpret as "falling in love."　　293　　00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:45,920　　那我给你脸一拳管用吗　　Would it work if I just punched you in the face?　　294　　00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,960　　当然可以　　但还是让我们看看这个行吗　　Yes, actually it would, but let's see how the lid goes.　　295　　00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,890　　莱纳德　　我不够强壮　　还是你来吧　　I'm not strong enough, leonard, you'll have to do it.　　296　　00:15:55,710 --> 00:15:57,220　　看在上帝的份上　　Oh, for god's sakes.　　297　　00:15:57,230 --> 00:15:58,910　　开吧　　已经松动了　　Go ahead, it's pre-loosened.　　298　　00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:14,430　　需要帮助吗　　Do you want some help with that?　　299　　00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:18,360　　不要　　不要　　我能搞定　　No, no, no, I got it.　　300　　00:16:18,370 --> 00:16:20,850　　没错　　没错　　他能搞定　　这不足为奇　　No, yeah, yeah, he's got it, and that's not surprising.　　301　　00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:22,670　　很久以前　　当我陷入爱河的时候　　This is something I long ago came to　　302　　00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,020　　我是可以打开的　　Peace with in my role as the beta male.　　303　　00:16:27,580 --> 00:16:29,020　　快开　　Open it.　　304　　00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,370　　-天呢　　你还好吗　　-我不好　　- Oh, my god, are you okay? - no, I'm not.　　305　　00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:39,320　　流血了　　I'm bleeding.　　306　　00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:41,040　　像个角斗士一样　　Like a gladiator!　　307　　00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,890　　你得缝几针　　Oh, honey, you're going to need stitches.　　308　　00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:45,900　　缝几针　　用针缝吗　　Stitches? with a needle?　　309　　00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:48,250　　对　　就几针　　Well, yeah, I mean, just a few.　　310　　00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,790　　好的　　稍等一下　　Oh, okay, yeah, hang on a sec.　　311　　00:17:02,050 --> 00:17:05,000　　顺便一提　　我正在那解冻牛排呢　　Fyi, I was defrosting a steak in there.　　312　　00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,640　　斯蒂芬尼缝得可真漂亮　　What a beautiful job stephanie did.　　313　　00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:13,520　　我会用床垫缝纫法　　I might have gone with a mattress suture　　314　　00:17:13,530 --> 00:17:14,840　　而不会用毯边锁缝纫法　　instead of a blanket stitch,　　315　　00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:16,660　　但她缝成这样　　你也只能认了　　But you can't argue with her results.　　316　　00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:18,910　　没留伤疤真是太可惜了　　It's a shame it won't scar.　　317　　00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:22,550　　战伤可是古时男子汉的荣誉徽章　　The war wound is a time-honored badge of masculinity.　　318　　00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:27,730　　你什么时候能安静一会　　I can't remember a time when you weren't talking.　　319　　00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:29,680　　言归正传　　Just for the record,　　320　　00:17:29,690 --> 00:1" type="audio/mpeg" />-->