The city, which had a population of about 930,000 as of May, cleared out following soul-sapping layoffs at Ford, GM and Chrysler and the Detroit Lions’ season.
In November, Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm tried selling the land back to the French, who founded Detroit in 1701. But the prickly country said ‘no refunds’ because Granholm didn’t have a receipt.
“You break it, you buy it,” sniffed French President Nicolas Sarkozy.
Just before Jameson’s exit, President Obama signed legislation turning Detroit into a national park. Already, grizzly bears, elk, coyotes and wolves have been spotted roaming the quiet streets. Lions were also allowed in, but they were quickly killed by the bears, rams, cardinals, dolphins, falcons, really, anything that came up against them.
Jameson was wistful as he crossed over the threshold into the suburbs.
“I hope I can come back again some day,” he said before disappearing into a thicket of trees. “I will. The Detroit Lions will always suck, but the city will come back, you watch.”
Note: This article—except for the part about the test scores and, of course, the Detroit Lions—is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News.
- After Latest Test Results, Last Resident of Detroit Leaves the City, ThePeopleNewsOnline.com, December 22, 2009.
About the author:
Zhang Xin is Trainer at chinadaily.com.cn. He has been with China Daily since 1988, when he graduated from Beijing Foreign Studies University. Write him at: zhangxin@chinadaily.com.cn, or raise a question for potential use in a future column.
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