你是否曾陷入过全面恐慌？心要跳出嗓子眼了，手发抖，激动发热？接下来的4天里我每一秒都是这种感觉，一次睡眠不超过2小时，一天体重就下降了半磅。

I arrived a few days later for my second opinion. I went to the lab, drew three vials of blood, then had to wait 7 days.

几天后我又做了第二次咨询，我去化验室抽了3管血，需要等7天。

By Monday evening, I had not slept in four nights. Wednesday morning, I felt like death would be an optimistic outcome. This feeling was more pragmatic than depressive. The disease leaves you crippled. Which meant not only that I’d be in unbearable pain and unable to do anything for myself, but that I’d take down with me the people that I love, who’d have to take care of me. I’d had a wonderful life. Would it be worth living unable to clean myself after going to the bathroom?

到周一晚上我已经4天晚上没睡觉了，周三早上我感觉死也可以是一个乐观的结果，这种感觉比抑郁更有用。这个病会让我瘫痪，这意味着不仅我自己要承受难以忍受的痛苦，自己什么都做不了，还会毁掉我所爱的人，他们还得照顾我。我原本拥有很好的生活，可要是上完厕所自己都不能洗手活着还有什么意思？

I got my blood test results ten days later. They were clean. No evidence of the disease. I cried.

10天后我验血的结果出来了，血液很干净，没有生病的迹象，我哭了。

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