就像一个疲倦的、脾气暴躁的3岁孩子,最后的结果就是大发脾气,令人不快。"自恋狂经常通过发脾气控制他人,因为他们的愤怒可能会引人担忧,或者令人恐惧,以至于大家都屈服了,"Durvasula说道。
If you're trying to keep the peace (or just your own peace of mind), here's what to never say to a narcissist.
如果你想维持和平(或者保持自己内心的平静),那千万别对自恋者说这些话。
"I wouldn't have done it that way"
"我不会那么做"
Even if you're using this as a preface to constructive criticism, a narcissist will only hear that they didn't do something right and you could do it better-"and that threatens their sense of self-esteem twice," says Durvasula. "Anything that smacks of criticism and also lifts someone else into a positive light is intolerable to them."
即使这只是你建设性批评的前言,自恋者也不愿听到这样的话--他们做错了,而你却可以做得更好--"这会威胁到他们的自尊,两次,"Durvasul说道。"任何批评他们、积极赞扬另一个人的话语对他们来说都是不能忍的。"
"You're wrong"
"你错了"
Narcissists do not do well with head-on confrontation, says Durvasula. And since they're bullies at heart, "they're scrappier and dirtier fighters than most of us," she warns. This doesn't mean that you have to hold your tongue. Instead, try a gentler tack, such as, "I hear you, but I see it a little differently...."
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