争吵中想要占据上风很容易重提恋爱中陈芝麻烂谷子的事,但千万不要那样做。以目前的情况为主,不要扩大争论话题的范围就能避免争吵一发不可收拾。
4. Don't Gaslight Your Partner
不要对你的恋人煽风点火
Just like yours are, your partner’s feelings are valid, no matter what they are. If your partner is experiencing a strong emotional reaction to something you’re saying, there’s probably a reason for it. Asking questions without jumping to conclusions is always a wise choice.
无论当时情绪怎样,但你爱人的情绪和你一样都是正常的。如果你的爱人对你说的话反应过于强烈,可能是有原因的。问对方一些问题而不妄下结论是明智的选择。
Here are some examples of good statements to make to your partner:
下面是一些跟对方好好说话的例子:
“I want to understand why you say that.”
“我想知道你为什么那样说。”
“What do you think the problem is?”
“你认为问题是什么?”
5. Don't Get Too Loud Or Aggressive
5.声音不要太大,不要有攻击性
No matter how strongly you feel about what you’re saying, watch the tone of your voice. Ensuring you are patient and calm will help her stay calm as well. If she does point out that you’re yelling, lower your tone of voice immediately and apologize.
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