小编注:什么叫做non-crying cry?这是男人们专有的一种哭泣方式。也许在婚礼上,女儿和妈妈可以互相抹去眼泪,但是爸爸只能一个人默默回到自己的房间,默默去想念,因为男人是不允许在大庭广众下轻易掉眼泪的。这也是为什么一个父亲会教自己的儿子,如何学会non-crying cry。大家有没有觉得,父亲节或者老爸的生日那天,不管你花多少心思,都难得看到老爸像老妈那样大动感情呢?其实,他只是用另一种方式,流下了作为男人和父亲的眼泪。
Real men don't cry. We just get something in our eye
A short walk from my house in Hampshire, on a hill overlooking the heathland, is a plaque marking the spot where Richard Pryce Jones deliberately crashed his Halifax bomber during the war. He could have parachuted to safety, but that would have meant crashing into the village. The epitaph reads: "He died that others might live."
It never fails to move me. Not to tears, you understand. That would be disrespectful. But I do usually manage a lump in the throat and that film of moisture over the eyes that men have in their emotional armoury. Gordon Brown demonstrated the non-crying cry beautifully when he made his farewell speech on the steps of Number 10. That catch in the throat. The determination not to weep in public. At that moment, if at no other, he had nobility.
Not everyone can carry it off. I don't think Paul Gascoigne ever quite got the hang of it, for example. But I like to think I have it down to an art, my technique honed from years of watching The Railway Children, Sleepless in Seattle and that scene in Dumbo when the mother elephant is locked away. "Daddy!" my sons will say, pointing the accusing finger. "You're crying!"
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