《别告诉她》:为什么亚洲人爱说"善意的谎言"_BEC初级作文

《别告诉她》:为什么亚洲人爱说"善意的谎言"

While I could relate to Billi, who was instructed to hide her grief in front of Nai Nai, I lacked a clear sense of the cultural rationale behind the lies. If Billi's family and mine were any indication of how some Chinese families solve problems, I wondered, why don't we just put everything out in the open so everyone can have a say in a solution? And why do we insist on creating the illusion that everything is O.K.?

我能理解比莉的感受，她按照要求需要在奶奶面前隐藏悲伤，但我对这些谎言背后的文化逻辑缺乏清晰的理解。如果比莉的家庭和我的家庭能代表一些华裔家庭的解决问题之道，我想，为什么我们不把所有事情都公开，让每个人都能就问题的解决方案有发言权呢？为什么我们要坚持制造一切如常的假象？

I posed these questions to Jeff Mio, a professor of multicultural psychology at California Polytechnic State University. He was quick to correct me.

我向加州理工州立大学(California Polytechnic State University)多元文化心理学教授杰夫·缪（Jeff Mio，音）提出了这些问题。他很快纠正了我的错误。

"It isn't that Asians avoid difficult topics, but rather that Asians tend to have indirect communication," Mio said.

“并不是亚洲人回避棘手的话题，而是亚洲人倾向于间接沟通，”杰夫·缪说。

In indirect communication, also known as high-context communication, what's not said is more important than what is said. Eastern philosophy emphasizes balance and harmony, and indirect communication minimizes conflict. So some Asian cultures prefer communicating in a "show, don't tell" manner and value the ability to decode indirect messages.