压力大时,哪怕一些平时经常参加社交活动的人也会产生很强烈的孤独感。这个时候,我们得到的建议往往是“振作点”,“找人聊聊”(往往是我们付钱让别人听),或者吃片药。既然这样,为什么我们不试着学学自我放松、自我鼓舞呢?
Think of it as becoming our own best friend, or our own personal coach, ready with the kind of encouragement and tough love that works best for us. After all, who else knows us better than ourselves? If that sounds crazy, bear in mind it sure beats turning to chocolate, alcohol or your Pekingese for support.
想想看,自己做自己最好的朋友或者私人教练,用最适合自己的方式鼓励或严格要求自己,不是很棒吗?毕竟,还有谁会比我们更了解自己呢?如果这种想法听起来有些异想天开,那你就错了,记住,比起不停地吃巧克力、用酒精麻痹自己或者向自己的宠物寻求慰藉,自我调节要好上千百倍。
Experts say that to feel better you need to treat yourself kindly - this is called 'self-compassion' - and focus on the positive, by being optimistic. Research shows self-compassionate people cope better with everything from a major relationship breakup to the loss of their car keys. They don't compound their misery by beating themselves up over every unfortunate accident or mistake. Car broke down? Sure, it's a drag, but it doesn't make you an idiot.
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