When we are scanning for signs of danger in a relationship such as abandonment our brain often can't distinguish between a real or imagined risk, Dr. Shorey says. The brain structure that picks up on threats, the amygdala, triggers the release of adrenaline faster than the thinking part of the brain, the cortex, can analyze the threat.

肖里博士说，当我们搜寻一段关系中的危险信号──例如遗弃──时，我们的大脑经常无法区分真正的风险和想象的风险。杏仁核（捕捉威胁的大脑结构）能比大脑皮层（大脑中分析威胁的思考部分）更快地触发肾上腺素的释放。

The way we learn to respond to the threat of abandonment as young children actually changes the wiring of our brains, Dr. Shorey says. 'This is an automatic response that will trigger even if you know you should not feel this way.'

肖里博士说，我们小时学会应对遗弃威胁的方式切实地改变了我们的大脑回路。“这是一种下意识的自发反应，即使在你知道不该如此感觉时仍会触发这种反应。”

When he was a child, Mr. Sollars says, his mother left him to be raised by his grandmother, who died when he was 16. 'I started being a worrier then,' Mr. Sollars says. His separation anxiety worsened a few years ago. He has diabetes and lost his eyesight; his wife had knee surgery and a procedure to correct a throat stricture. Now, Mr. Sollars is troubled by thoughts of becoming a burden to her. To distract himself while she is away, he plans to work on a book he is writing about preventing workplace violence.

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