I Me Mine: My brother used to be married to someone who expected much more from others, on a daily basis, than she was willing to give. For instance, she had no problem asking someone to babysit for her child, or watch her house, or run an errand for her…but when it came time to reciprocate, somehow it just never seemed possible. When she came to visit, everything had to be oriented to accommodate her: the foods she required, the quietest room with the proper light, the cats farmed out to friends because of her allergies. No such accommodations were possible when others visited her. “I Me Mine” people are the center of their own universe, and if they’re in your life, you are always going to have to work around their needs and preferences. Collaboration, reciprocity and give and take are not part of their vocabulary. Do what you can to minimize your interactions with these folks (although they may let you know in no uncertain terms that you’re being unreasonable or unfair not to be available to fulfill their every whim).
我,我的。我弟弟曾和一位女士结了婚,这位女士总期望别人为她出更多的力,而她自己却很少付出。例如,她毫不客气地让别人帮她照看孩子,看管房屋,或者跑腿等等。但当别人有事请她帮忙时,几乎不可能。她去拜访别人时,衣食住行都要符合其要求:食物要合口;住房必须安静且光线适中;由于她对猫过敏,主人要托朋友看管猫。当别人回访她时,却根本得不到这样的待遇。“我,我的”这类人总是以自己的世界为中心。如果你和他们一起生活,你将不得不总是围绕他们的需要和喜好工作。在他们的字典里从来没有诸如“合作”“互助”“互相谦让”之类的字眼。你要尽量减少与这些人来往(尽管他们可能明确告诉你,如果不满足他们每次的心血来潮,你会显得多么不公,多么不近人情)。
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