In a way, both mother and wife are competing to nurture the man. Loading the relationship even more is women's traditional role as what researchers call 'kin keepers' who maintain the family social calendar, relationships and traditions.
从某种方式上来说,母亲和妻子都在争着养育这个男人。让这种关系雪上加霜的是被研究人员称作“家庭关系维护者”的女性传统角色,该角色负责管理家庭社交日程,维护家庭关系和传统。
There is uncertainty on both sides. Mothers- and daughters-in-law are supposed to be family, yet they don't know each other well. What to call each other? How much to share? There is no script.
两边都存在不确定性。婆婆和媳妇虽说理应是一家人,但双方并不怎么熟悉。如何称呼对方?应该与对方分享多少?都没有脚本。
The uncertainty itself can lead to jealousy, anger or sadness. The more uncertainty there is, the more each woman is likely to keep the other at arm's length. This can destabilize the marriage: When his mother and his wife are battling, a man's self-preservation instinct tells him to hide.
这种不确定本身就可能导致嫉妒、愤怒或伤心。不确定性越强,两个女人越可能相互保持距离。而这可能会破坏婚姻的稳定:当母亲和妻子开战,男人自我保护的本能会告诉他能躲多远是多远。
How can families break the pattern? It's really up to the husband/son, Dr. Mikucki-Enyart says. 'He needs to step up to the plate,' she says. 'He has to make his wife his priority and let that be known.'
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