Idea three: Constantly monitor news sites for breaking stories and then try to be the first to tweet an edgy joke about what's happening. Speed is of the essence here, because within minutes others will carpet bomb the same territory with comedy, but if you're first out of the gate, you'll get the retweets. This won't land you a job or get you paid, but you can't underestimate bragging rights at friends' engagement parties.
第三个主意:不断监控突发资讯网站,然后尽量第一个用“推特”发送一条有关所发生之事的新鲜趣事。速度是重中之重,因为几分钟之内同一件事情就会被其他人用有趣的方式地毯式轰炸。不过如果你是第一个发消息的人,你会得到别人的转发。这不会帮你搞定一份工作,也不会让你得到报酬,但你不可小视在朋友订婚派对上的夸耀资本。
A final idea is to go to the least expensive graduate school you can find and just hunker down. You'll want to look as young as possible when actual good jobs come in three to seven years and you're competing against new grads, so try not to get any wrinkles stay out of the sun and don't smoke or react facially to anything, even if the Cubs win the World Series or if they find out that Amelia Earhart ate her navigator Fred Noonan.
最后一个主意是去读一所你能找到的最便宜的研究生院,然后收敛自己。等到三至七年后有真正的好工作来到面前,你要与应届毕业生竞争。你当然希望自己看上去尽可能年轻,因此你要尽量避免长出皱纹,不要晒太阳、不要抽烟,也不要对任何事情有面部反应,即使是小熊队(Cubs)赢了世界职业棒球大赛(World Series),或是人们发现阿梅莉亚·埃尔哈特(Amelia Earhart)吃掉了她的导航员弗雷德·努南(Fred Noonan),你也别有所反应。
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